Shameless Pile of Stuff

Just Add Water
Bleeding Hart Films, Morningstar Films, USA, 2008.

Ray Tuckby (Dylan Walsh) has a boring job and a boring life. He lives in a small town of Trona with mentally troubled wife Charlene (Penny Balfour) and troublemaker but sensitive son Eddie (Jonah Hill). Only light in the day is a cute grocery store cashier Nora (Tracy Middendorf) who has secretly yearned after Ray since high school.

Ray Tuckby

Eddie and Charlene

Nora

Ray's brother Mark (Michael Hitchcock) is a crybaby with million plus one kids. When Ray finds out that Charlene has had a relationship with Mark since forever, Ray decides to start his life again. If only he could have courage to ask Nora for a date. Mystical stranger Merl Striker (Danny DeVito) opens a gas station in town and inspires Ray to follow his dreams.

Merl Striker

Dirk

Trona

Druglord Dirk (Will Rothhaar) terrorizes the town. Dirk controls the water and electricity in the town. Every day Dirk's actions strain the townspeople more. The downtrodden town needs a hero so Ray starts slowly crawling out of his misery. Together with his friends he makes a plan against Dirk.

Merl and Elmo (John Balma) being stealthy

Off-beat Drama-comedy has nice little story with eccentric characters. The story has potential for vigilante story but it remains on the humoristic side. The humour is whimsical and surprising but often quite black though. Ray is a nice but passive guy and he grows up during the story affecting also the people around him. Danny DeVito has a small but important role and comedians Jonah Hill and Melissa McCarthy have some of their early roles. Melissa McCarthy appears as Ray's neighbors meth-addict wife who can throw a punch or two. The stroy opens up quite slowly, so the beginning takes a bit of patience. After that the characters become likeable and you want to know what happens to Ray and the town.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Dylan Walsh, Jonah Hill, Justin Long, Danny DeVito, Tracy Middendorf, Melissa McCarthy, Anika Noni Rose, Lindsey Axelsson, Will Rothhaar, Joey Kern, Penny Balfour, Lee Garlington, Michael Hitchcock, Tracey Walter, June Squibb, John Balma, Chelsea Field, Lucy DeVito, Cerina Vincent, Ahna O'Reilly, Emily Arlook, Chris Owen, Nate Mooney, Jonathan Moore, Sewell Whitney, Scott Kinworthy, Brad Hunt
Director: Hart Bochner

Wyrmwood a.k.a Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead
Screen Australia, Roache-Turner Brothers, Guerilla Films, Australia, 2014.

Aboriginal Benny (Leon Burchill) and his brothers (Damion Hunter, Alfred Coolwell) went to forest for a little hunting. The other brother turned into a zombie and the other one died. Handyman Barry's (Jay Callagher) family became victims after zombies came in for a midnight snack. Barry's goth sister Brooke (Bianca Bradey) was filming artsy photos when rest of the crew became zombies. She is abducted by crazy Doctor (Berynn Schwerdt) who clearly enjoys his job too much.

Benny

Barry

On the road they meet some helpful people, most of whom quickly become zombie-food. Together with Mechanic Frank (Keith Agius) they build a vehicle that runs with unusual power source. Frank believes that the day of reckoning has come. Saving Barry's sister is what keeps the men going.

The Doctor is in

Frank

Common zombie

The debut film of the Roache-Turner brothers has energetic zombie-mayhem with Mad Max influences, makeshift armour and trucks from hell. The story shares similar twisted sense of humour as Peter Jackson's and Sam Raimi's early movies. In Australia they like beer but when you take beer from the freezer, watch for the zombie. He's chilling in there. It is not only amusing zombie-slaying as it has also some tragic and horrific turns as with the backstory of Barry shows. Brooke's character leaves a better impression than Milla Jovovich in the latest "Resident Evil" films. The script has couple of novel ideas such as using fumes emitted by zombies as fuel. Although the zombie genre is saturated, "Wyrmwood" is a fun ride and despite the low budget the production values are good. It became an instant cult classic and a sequel TV-series is on the production.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Jay Gallagher, Bianca Bradey, Leon Burchill, Keith Agius, Berynn Schwerdt, Luke McKenzie, Cain Thompson, Damian Dyke, Yure Covich, Catherine Terracini, Meganne West, Beth Aubrey, Sheridan Harbridge, Damion Hunter, Alfred Coolwell, Ellen Brooke Williams, Adam Penklis, Ellie Poussot, Brendan Byrne, Craig Bourke, John Michael Burdon, Aaron Collins, Clayton Galipo, Dane Hallett, Daniel Martin, Tom Matthews, Simon Mak Murrell, Melvin Okoronkwo, Justen Petch, Jesse Rowles, Adam Sanders, Deborah Joyce

Director: Kiah Roache-Turner

Hologram Man a.k.a Cyber Killer
PM Entertainment Group Inc., USA, 1995.

Naughty bad terrorist Slash Gallagher (Evan Lurie) causes trouble for rookie Lieutenant Decoda (Joe Lara) and his rulebook trashing Chief Wes Strickland (John Amos). Slash is going to assassinate Governor Stan Hampton (Alex Cord) and despite the best efforts of Decoda and Strickland he succeeds.

Decoda

Slash Gallagher

Slash is sentenced to biopersonal rectification programming in holographic prison (umm, okay). In near future that is the hottest hot in correctional facilities. While Slash is in prison, huge Biodome is build above the city. There are flying cars and stuff. Crime is increasing and the state has become totalitarian. CalCorp company boss Jameson (Michael Nouri) rules with iron fist. The laws are so strict that no one is allowed to skip watching the news. Decoda abandons Lorenzo Lamas-look and adopts Nicholas Cage's look from "Con Air." Slash's friends One-Eye (Nicholas Worth) and 8-Ball (Tommy 'Tiny' Lister) hack the prison system with traitor Manny Giggles (William Sanderson) and Hologram Man escapes.

Hologram Slash

Decoda five years later

Natalie

Decoda and his cop partner Andy Carradine (Anneliza Scott) try to stop Slash but it is impossible as Slash is bsically a ghost. To interact with objects slash needs a rubber skin. Slash uses psychotic liberty fighter tactics to topple the government. Decoda's ladyfriend Natalie (Arabella Holzbog) is a scientist whose father created the Holographic Prison, so maybe she can balance the unfair advantage.

Carradine

One-Eye

8-Ball

There is a vehicle that has the same function as Slicer in H.B. Halicki's uncompleted "Gone in 60 Seconds 2." Lot's of location are the same as in "Cybertracker" or "Cybertracker 2" and the shoot-out in a warehouse looks eerily familiar too. Some cost-cutting had to be made as there is a lots of action with enough firearms to start a small civil war, explosive car stunts and cheesy 1990s virtual reality effects. The futuristic world looks more enthusiastically (but cheaply) made than in usual low budget direct-to-video films. It doesn't make it a great film but it is quite impressing how many weird futuristic ideas Pepin and Merhi were able to include in the story. Biodome, VR-combat training arena, wild holographic technology, fullbody rubber masks and evil mega-company, and an insane amount of explosions. The silliness of the plot can be forgiven as the entertainment value (both intentional and unintentional) is good.

Cyber killer

Rocket cars!

Jameson

The Finnish DVD suffers from bad and broken subtitles

Rating:

Good

Starring: Joe Lara, Evan Lurie, Michael Nouri, John Amos, Tina Arning, Tody Bernard, Rod Britt, Chuck Butto, Joseph Campanella, Alex Cord, James Daughton, Arabella Holzbog, David Kagen, Tommy 'Tiny' Lister, Jim Maniaci, Derek McGrath, Kathrin Middleton, Stephen Quadros, Scott Riddle, William Sanderson, Anneliza Scott, Michele Smith, Paul G. Volk, Nicholas Worth, Cole S. McKay
Director: Richard Pepin

Paheli (2005) a.k.a The Dilemma
Red Chillies Entertainment, India, 2005.

Based on Vijayadan Detha's novel and 1973 movie "Duvidha."

Beautiful Lachchi (Rani Mukerji) is getting married in ancient India. In the first song there is both playful anticipation of the wedding night and sadness of leaving behind family and childhood's friends. The wedding procession has to stop at a place that is said to be haunted. There a shapeshifting ghost falls in love with Lachchi. Husband Kishanlal (Shah Rukh Khan) is a trader and only interested in business. He is leaving for a business trip for five years (!) and has no time for even a wedding night, so Lachchi feels lonely and sad. The women in the family seem to be have unhappy fates as also Kishanlal's brother Sunderlal (Sunil Shetty) left his family and wife Gajrobai (Juhi Chawla) after losing a bet in camel races.

Lachchi

Kishanlal

Gajrobai

The Ghost disguises as Kishanlal and returns home. He tells Kishanlal's father Bhanwarlal (Anupam Kher) that he is now blessed and earns five magic coins per day. Lachchi is happy but the Ghost reveals that he is not the real husband. Sneaky Uncle Kanwarlal (Dilip Prabhavalkar) wants to know where the gold comes from, however this subplot never comes to any conclusion.

Supernatural romance!

Bhanwarlal

Kanwarlal

Confusing situation arises when servant Bhoja (Rajpal Yadav) comes to bring letter from Kishanlal - only to be greeted by Kishanlal. The Ghost is generally a nice guy and a benefactor of his society - however the real Kishanlal still has fondness for his wife. And to make it clear, he is not a bad guy, just a man pressed by the expectations of his father. Later when the real Kishanpal returns, wiseman The Shepherd (Amitabh Bachchan) arranges a group of tests to decide who is the real Kishanpal. How will the Dilemma be solved and will Lachchi be united with her ghost lover or her work-obsessed husband?

The Shepherd

The musical numbers alternate between playful teasing and longing passion. The gigantic turban worn by Kishanlal in the DVD cover gives a comical impression, but this is mainly an exotic romantic fantasy. However there are some amusing side characters and the story is narrated by two puppets. Supernatural identity theft contrasts the reality vs Lachichis dream man where Kishanlal is the sense and Ghost Kishanlal is the sensitivity. It is beautifully filmed and colourful with nicely choreographed music numbers. Although it was generally pleasant, the acting and chemistry of the charismatic main stars, who are two megastars in India, was great and the film praised by Western critics, I didn't find it the best Bollywood can offer.

Puppets

Dance now!

Then the bad. The simple story feels overlong (the film's duration is 134 minutes) making poor use of the subplots. For me the handling of real Kishanlal's story felt clumsy and the solution to the awkward situation felt forced, making shortcuts to arrive at the happy ending. And indeed, what I found out from teh Internets is that the original 1973 film had a sad ending with the romantic ghost being trapped forever and the true feelings of Lachchi ignored. This modernization seems to water down the original 1973 version's critique of the Indian social traditions and the point about woman's position in Indian society (i.e what the woman wants vs what is socially acceptable). Having a more audience pleasing happy end, the new version cuts away the stronger points that the 1973 had. Maybe I have to find the original 1973 film for comparison if I can buy it somewhere. Despite all the good things, for me "Paheli" didn't leave an Oomph-effect that the best Asian films make. But then again I'm an old crank so what do I know.

Rating:

Average

Starring: Shah Rukh Khan, Anupam Kher, Rani Mukerji, Amitabh Bachchan, Naseeruddin Shah, Sunil Shetty, Juhi Chawla, Dilip Prabhavalkar, Nina Kulkarni, Padma Rani, Sharvari Jamenis, Aditi Govitrikar, Advait Trivedi, Palak Jain, Ratna Pathak, Rajpal Yadav, Somesh Agarwal, Mohan Bhandari, Rishi Deshpande, A.K. Hangal, Vijay Mishra, Surendra Rajan, Nikhil Ratnaparkhi, Aashif Sheikh, Lekh Tandon, Anita Wahi

Director: Amol Palekar

The Last Dragon a.k.a Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon
Delphi III Productions, Motown Productions, USA, 1985.

'Bruce' Leroy Green (Taimak) reaches the highest level of Kung Fu that his Master (Thomas Ikeda) can teach. Leroy travels to Harlem to search for Master Sum Dum Goy to learn the secrets of mystical power the Glow. Sho'Nuff (Julius J. Carry III) , the self-proclaimed Shogun of Harlem bullies everyone and Leroy is still not prepared to oppose him. Sho'Nuff apparently has a bad memory as he is always asking his followers who he is.

'Bruce' Leroy Green

The Master

Sho'Nuff

Nasty pop mogul Eddie Arkadian (Christopher Murney) tries to kidnap singer Laura Charles (Vanity) to promote awful music videos of his protege Angela (Faith Prince) but Leroy saves her. Eddie hires every hoodlum in Harlem to beat Leroy into pulp. Luckily Leroy gets new friends and also some tips about women from his bratty little brother Richie (Leo O'Brien).

Eddie Arkadian

Laura Charles

Angela Viracco

This is a movie I saw as a kid, and it was cool then. It is fun still although 1980s campiness is more apparent now. "The Last Dragon" is a nice 1980s- action comedy with Bruce Lee-admiring hero. The story has tongue-in-cheek humour and no-one dies. Bruce Lee's films tend to be more serious, more this follows the comedical approach of Jackie Chan. Taimak kicks well and it is a small wonder he hasn't made a bigger film career as Kung Fu star. "The Last Dragon" has remained Taimak's most famous film role but he has made a successful career as Martial Arts instructor.

Founder of Motown Records Berry Gordy produced a blaxploitation homage, including Disco/Pop songs from his stars so the film is almost a semi-musical. Prince's protege Vanity has the role of the lady in distress. As the story is made to appeal younger generation, the sharpest edges of the 70s blaxploitation films are omitted, and so the hero is not Sexual Tyrannosaurus as many colleagues in the 70s, but a shy guy who has a lot to learn about the Power of Luuv. Still his Kung Fu skills make women have crush on him. This is probably the only film where woman tries to seduce a man by showing him a Bruce Lee movie.

Wooo!

William H. Macy has a role as Laura's manager JJ.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Taimak, Vanity, Christopher Murney, Julius J. Carry III, Faith Prince, Leo O'Brien, Mike Starr, Jim Moody, Glen Eaton, Ernie Reyes Jr., Roger Campbell, Esther Marrow, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Jamal Mason, B.J. Barie, Sarita Allen, Jacqui Lee Smith, Jodi Moccia, Sal Russo, Chazz Palminteri, Frank Renzulli, Torrance Mathis, André D. Brown, David Claudio, Kirk Taylor, Shonte, Janet Bloem, Lisa Dalton, Henry Yuk, Michael G. Chin, Fredric Mao, Thomas Ikeda, William H. Macy, Trulie MacLeod, Gary Aprahamian, Lou David, Verne Williams, Captain Haggerty, Ernie Reyes Sr., Robert Silver, Clayton Prince, Brandon Schultz, Carl Anthony Payne II, Anthony Cortino, Sebastian Hitzig, Lia Chang, Derek Schultz, Rhonda Ross Kendrick, Peter Traina, Freddie Stroble, Jack Meeks, Joe Dabenigno, Soo Gin Lee, Scott Coker, Julian Villanueva, Charlene, Joey Gironda, Tony D. Head, Silvia Mathis Manning, Jill Powell, Kariim Ratcliff, Monique Lisa Reilly, Ron Van Clief

Director: Michael Schultz

Mythica: A Quest for Heroes

Arrowstorm Entertainment, Camera 40 Productions, USA, 2014.

Old Priest of Goddess Anasett sends Priestess-sisters Teela (Nicola Posener) and Caeryn (Natalie Devine Riskas) to take a magical stone to safety before evil necromancer and his orc army can get it. They do not get very far before a wandering Ogre catches Caeryn and also the stone is lost.

Teela

Young slave girl Marek (Melanie Stone) wants to be a wizard, but her teacher Gojun Pye (Kevin Sorbo) is leaving the village. Gojun suggests that Marek join a band of adventurers to gain experience if possible. Marek has a club foot, so running away from enemies is hard.

Marek

Gojun Pye

After using magical self-defence on her sadistic owner Vagamal (Michael Flynn) Marek escapes. Dwarf Hammerhead's (Christopher Robin Miller) tavern is a meeting place for adventurers but tough for newcomers. Teela wants to hire heroes to save her sister, but she does not have much money and the mission is dangerous. Marek wants to join the quest but first she must find more heroes. Marek has previously met drunkard but honourable soldier Thane (Adam Johnson) and womanizer half-elf thief Dagen (Jake Stormoen), so maybe they want to gain fame and fortune.

Hammerhead'

Adam Johnson, Melanie Stone, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener

Thane, Marek, Dagen and Teela

However there is something evil inside Marek that makes her forsaken by gods. Some of Marek's spells are dark and dangerous to her friends. The underdog heroes must survive battles with monsters and beasts but there is also some time for budding romances.

Ogre's bad day

Mythica-series is an Indie project that despite low budget looks professionally made, and captures the spirit of Dungeons & Dragons style RPG-novels. It has something that the official "Dungeons& Dragons" movie failed although the other films in the series were pretty good. The film collected funding as a kickstarter and it seems that the budget was only $100,000 but it atill looks impressive. The folks at Arrowstorm Entertainment with their limited budget seem have talent and eager attitude to make fantasy adventures and so the series has gained fans from the role-players. Matbe someone should hire them to make some Dungeons & Dragons movies. Much of the adventure is quite familiar from fantasy adventures such as "Xena" or "Hercules", but the world is surprisingly dark and the unique twist is having a crippled heroine who has a dark side.

Of the cast everyone does a nice job. Kevin 'Hercules' Sorbo is the most famous of the cast. Nicola Posener was a familiar face from "Dawn of the Dragon Slayer" as was also Adam Johnson. Jake Stormoen has appeared in couple of recent films with Danny Trejo and Dolph Lundgren. And Melanie Stone has starred other Arrowstorm productions and other Indie films. "Mythica: A Quest for Heroes" is a promising start for a fantasy film series, with production values that mask the limitations of the budget.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Melanie Stone, Adam Johnson, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener, Christopher Robin Miller, Natalie Devine Riskas, Kevin Sorbo, Robert Jayne, Kee Chan, Jay Beacham, Sebastian Michael Barr, Michael Flynn, Adele Faller, Jakob Tice, Bryan Allen, Mark Rose, Matt Burch, Jake Trumbo, Don Nerdin, James C. Morris, Crystal Harris, Ben Alexander, Braxton McAllister, Owen Faller, Shielia Erickson, Nyk Fry, Kira Peacock, Andrew Liston, Lauren Spalding, Clark Edmunds, Ryan Palmer, Griffin Bonacci, Dave Bresnahan, Brandon Lee Christian, Angella Joy, Clare Niederpruem, Karen Peterson, Marc Van Lent, Kjirstin Youngberg

Director: Anne K. Black

Mythica: The Dark Spore a.k.a Mythica 2: The Darkspore
Arrowstorm Entertainment, Camera 40 Productions, USA, 2015.

Adventures of wizardess Marek and her friends continue. Warrior Thane (Adam Johnson), half-elf thief Dagen (Jake Stormoen) and priestess Teela (Nicola Posener) are celebrating the victory of the previous quest but the feast turns into a wake. Teela's sister Caeryn (Natalie Devine Riskas) is murdered and everyone gets depressed. Thane starts drinking again, Dagen continues womanizing and Teela leaves. Marek sees terrible visions about evil necromancer Kishkumen (Ryan Palmer). Wizard Gojun (Kevin Sorbo) returns and tells that Marek is a necromancer too. The stone that the Priestess Sisters were protecting one part of the Dark Spore that the evil necromancer Szorlok (Matthew Mercer) seeks. Szorlok was beaten by Gojun and he is still weak but gains power with each fragment of Dark Spore he gets.

Szorlok

Kishkumen

To avenge Caeryn and stop necromancers destroying the world, the team packs up and travels to ruined city where the second fragment is hidden. Old enemies from the previous film, pimp and crime lord Peregus Malister (Robert Jayne) and Marek's former slave master Vagamal (Michael Flynn) plot together. Peregus sends female bounty hunters after her. They and angry fairies, orcs, swamp wights and a dragon make the life hard for the adventures. Marek's dark spells endanger the whole group's life and the team spirit is strained to the maximum. The only one who understands her is a rescued hunky dark elf Qole (Rocky Myers).

Thane, Teela, Marek, Dagen and Qole

Vagamal

Qole

The first "Mythica" was a fresh swords & sorcery adventure and the sequel is continuing the trend. The first film introduced the characters. In the second movie the adventure starts to gain epic momentum and the storyline gets darker undertones. Can Marek control her corrupting powers or will she become a servant of evil? The scene with the fairies is goofy but somehow it balances the darkness of the second half. The characters get more complex now and Melanie Stone's character Marek is spunky but like all his friends she has her internal struggles. Thane is honourable but hot tempered and drunkard, Dagen is a devil-may-care ladies' man but struggles to be taken seriously and Teela is torn between duty and love.

The budget is low again but there is a impressive number of extras in the battle scenes, and the action scenes look well done (TV-movie level that is). The cinematography looks nice and the sceneries of Utah makes a good background for a fantasy setting. The self-irony of SyFy and Asylum productions is unknown and Arrowstorm crew and the actors take creating the fantasy world seriously.

Dragon with a touch of Dark Spore's powers

Necromancer's temple could be from a cover of a metal cd

What is nice also is that also the music has been put effort into. Here's Kristen Jensen's theme song "Tell Me" from the movie:

Rating:

Good

Starring: Melanie Stone, Adam Johnson, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener, Rocky Myers, Christopher Robin Miller, Kevin Sorbo, Natalie Devine Riskas, Robert Jayne, Matthew Mercer, Brogan Johnson, Ryan Palmer, James C. Morris, Kali Wright, Michael Flynn, Larissa Beck, Oscar Sanchez, Isaac Faller, Helena Peacock, Clare Niederpruem, Kynan Griffin, Nyk Fry, Griffin Bonacci, Dave Bresnahan, Andy Fernuik, Crystal Harris, Andrew L. McClain, Duke Warren
Director: Anne K. Black

Mythica: The Necromancer a.k.a Mythica 3: The Necromancer
Arrowstorm Entertainment, Bellpond Films, Camera 40 Productions, USA, 2015.

Good Necromancer Marek (Melanie Stone) is getting lessons from Wizard Gojun Pye (Kevin Sorbo). Hard training requires hard relaxation and what is a better place for that than Dwarf Hammerhead's tavern. But Thane's (Adam Johnson) and Teela's (Nicola Posener) romance is going nowhere and neither is Marek's and Dagen's (Jake Stormoen). Or are they?

Marek

Gojun Pye shows that there is still much to learn

Teela and Thane

Undead army is pouring through a portal and Gojun Pye is hurt. Necromancer Szorlok (Matthew Mercer) is getting stronger with every piece of Dark Spore he gets. Nasty pimp and crime lord Peregus Malister (Robert Jayne) captures and tortures Thane. To save him the heroes must do a fetching job for Peregus. They have to find a smuggler named Eel (Davey Morrison) and his valuables. Unpleasant killer Betylla (Philip Brodie) comes as a chaperone. Still the killer has a soft spot. He has a supply of trained bugs that he takes care of.

Melanie Stone, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener

Marek, Dagen and Teela

Szorlok

Peregus Malister

The series maintains the quality of the previous parts, with each sequel having better production values than the previous. This episode is darker than the previous, going towards the grittiness of "The Witcher" or "Game of Thrones." This time it is personal and saving the world is at the backseat (well, almost. The Dark Spore is found conveniently) as the mission is to save a friend. The characters have to do tragic choices. There is a good chemistry of the cast. If there is something to complain it is that couple of interesting characters get killed before they have time to develop. The wintery cinematography looks nice and there is stylishness in the combat scenes. Kevin Sorbo has a bigger role now and does decent damage to the undead army. In addition to sword and spell battles there is some fantasy trench warfare.

Undead rapscallion

Rating:

Good

Starring: Melanie Stone, Adam Johnson, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener, Philip Brodie, Matthew Mercer, Robert Jayne, Kevin Sorbo, Davey Morrison, Oscar Sanchez, James C. Morris, Christopher Robin Miller, Robert Keddington, Emily Ann Roth, Benji Phillips, Owen Faller, Dave Bresnahan, Geoff Hansen, Sahna Foley, Evie Brodie, Griffin Bonacci

Director: A. Todd Smith

Mythica: The Iron Crown a.k.a Mythica 4: The Iron Crown
Arrowstorm Entertainment, Camera 40 Productions, Mainstay Productions USA, 2016.

Dwarf Hammerhead's plans to get Iron Crown to become king of the dwarfs. Maybe he could use the mercenaries Thorsten (James Gaisford), Caia-Bekk (Ashley Santos) and Rezzik (Jasen Wade) to gain it. Meanwhile Admiral Borlund Hess' (Eve Mauro) battle-wagon is carrying slave girls and a piece of Dark Spore. Marek (Melanie Stone) and her remaining friends Dagen (Jake Stormoen) and Thane (Adam Johnson) ambush the wagon and catch the Dark Spore. But that's not all! As a bonus the heroes get a new friend Zombie Girl (Paris Warner) who was a snobby princess but is now more tolerable as undead.

Thane

Marek and Dagen

Zombie Girl

The Admiral's air pirates chase the heroes with zeppelin. Szorlok (Matthew Mercer) sends demon warriors after them. Suddenly the heroes are being chased by everyone, in fantasy Mad Max style. The road goes toward Goddess Ana-Sett's temple that is guarded by very much Stargate's Jaffa-like dude. There may be a way to get Teela (Nicola Posener) back.

ames Gaisford, Ashley Santos and Jasen Wade

Thorsten, Caia-Bekk and Rezzik

Admiral Borlund Hess

The fourth movie is a lighter episode between two dark Mythica's. Even the ending song is light medieval rock. The fantasy introduces steampunk wagon and flying machines. It is stylistically a bit of touch with the other films, but it still quite entertaining. The Admiral and her maniac crew are funny in a campy way. The action sequences look again nice and the aerial scenes are impressive for the budget. The highlights include the epic battle of wizard Gojun Pye (Kevin Sorbo) and Szorlok. In the end the game pieces are set for the dark finale of the fifth film.

The Guardian (Chris Rueckert)

Szorlok

Teela

Rating:

Good

Starring: Melanie Stone, Adam Johnson, Jake Stormoen, Nicola Posener, Christopher Robin Miller, Paris Warner, James Gaisford, Ashley Santos, Jasen Wade, Kurt Knight, Kaza Marie Ayersman, Maloree Johnson, Benjamin Alexander, Paul D. Hunt, Andrew Dee Jones, Maclain Nelson, Chris Rueckert, Eve Mauro, Matthew Mercer, Kevin Sorbo
Director: John Lyde

Mythica: The Dragon Slayer a.k.a Mythica 5: The Godslayer
Arrowstorm Entertainment, Mainstay Productions, USA, 2016.

After the lighter fourth movie it is a time for the epic finale where the sun does not shine much. In the end of the last movie Marek (Melanie Stone) gave the Dark Spore to Szorlok (Matthew Mercer) if attempt to gain time to find the Hammer of Tek that could destroy Szorlok. The problem is that God Tek (Kristian Nairn) died in ancient battle against evil and the Hammer is in the Underworld. Szorlok became the Lich King and is destroying the world with zombie armies. Marek and Dagen go to search for the Hammer while Thane and Teela go to help humans battle the undead horde.

Marek

Dagen

Thane and Teela

The heroes travel through the destroyed land familiar from the previous movies. Marek feels guilty about all the death caused by the Dark Spore. Szorlok is planning Götterdammerung and needs Marek's help. The gods are unwilling to help humans, but they will try to stop Marek if she decides to join the dark side. Still one more time Gojun Pye (Kevin Sorbo) appears to tell wise words.

Szorlok

Tek

Gojun Pye

In the UK edition this was renamed as The Dragon Slayer although no dragons were hurt in the movie, maybe the original name was thought offensive or difficult to market or something. Still the original name is more fitting, as Marek struggles with doubt and considers joining Szorlok to save the world. Marek has an overwhelming burden and whatever she decides will change the world forever. The origin of Marek is finally explained and the story has the melancholy of Greek tragic hero tales. Although several of the heroes died in the previous parts only to be resurrected again, this time the deaths are final.

All in all the Mythica series was very enjoyable watch, with fantasy adventure, romance and sometimes humour, becoming darker as the story progressed. The cast was talented and put their souls to their roles. Melanie Stone did a nice job with the rollercoaster emotional journey Marek went through. Of the characters Dagen (Jake Stormoen) went through most development becoming from a lighthearted womanizer to the only one who believed in and inspired Marek in the end. Adam Thane did a strong warrior role and let's not forget Nicola Posener's ethereal and mysterious beauty. Impressive Matthew Mercer became larger than live evil wizard. Arrowstorm did a great job raising the standards of indie fantasy and let's hope that the good streak continues.

Kristian Nairn from "Game of Thrones" appears as Tek. Watch after the end credits to see what happened to Zombie Girl (Paris Warner).

Rating:

Good
For the whole series:

Very good

Starring: Melanie Stone, Adam Johnson, Matthew Mercer, Jake Stormoen, Bailee Michelle Johnson, Nicola Posener, Christopher Robin Miller, Cooper Daniel Johnson, Clint Vanderlinden, Paris Warner, Ethan Hunt, James C. Morris, Randall Malin, James Martin, Andy Jones, Ruby Jones, Charlie Jones, Ivy Jones, Kristen Marie Jensen, Kristian Nairn, Danny James, Lauren Spalding, Trenton James, Griffin Bonacci, Devin Hansen, Seth Williams

Director: John Lyde

Ju-on: The Curse 2 (a.k.a Ju-on 2)

Toei Video Company, Japan, 2000.

The sequel to "Ju-on: The Curse" and prequel to "Ju-on: The Grudge"

This film continues directly from where the first film ended (actually it repeats about 30 minutes of the first film). Like the other films in the series this is divided to segments.

Kayako

Toshio Saeki's (Ryôta Koyama) teacher Kobayashi (Yûrei Yanagi) tries to find his parents. Mother Kayako Saeki (Takako Fuji) had an unhealthy obsession with Kobayashi. Father Takeo Saeki (Takashi Matsuyama) has a horrible surprise for Kobayashi.

Kobayashi

Kyoko

Real estate agent Tatsuya (Makoto Ashikawa) asks her sister Kyoko (Yûko Daike), who has psychic skills, help to sell the cursed house. Tatsuya and his son Nobuyuki (Tomohiro Kaku) now live in the former apartment of Kobayashi.

Kyoko

Tatsuya

New residents Yoshimi (Kaori Fujii) and Hiroshi Kitada (Hua Rong Weng) meet the curse. Tatsuya tries to save his family.

Yoshimi

Tatsuya

Kamio

Cops Kamio (Tarô Suwa) and Iizuka (Reita Serizawa) try to make sense of the mysterious deaths.

Kayako

Noboyuki

At school other students think he is acting weird.

Noboyuki

Saori
Schoolgirl Saori and her friends trespass the haunted house.

This was a difficult film to find. I tried to order a secondhand DVD two years ago but the seller disappeared mystically from the web. Creepy. The second copy was finally found from video store surplus shelf. However the film contains a lot of material from the first film and many of the events are reprised in the sequels so missing it would not been so big a loss except for seeing every film of the series. The story has some creepy scenes especially in the middle of the story but overall it does not feel as scary as the other of the series, as it lacks the surprises of the first film. Maybe the films 1 and 2 should have been cut to one film.

Rating:

Average

Starring: Yûrei Yanagi, Takako Fuji, Takashi Matsuyama, Ryôta Koyama, Yûko Daike, Makoto Ashikawa, Tomohiro Kaku, Mayuko Saitô, Yue, Miyako Nakatsuka, Kenta Ishikawa, Ganko Fuyu, Kaori Fujii, Hua Rong Weng, Taizô Mizumura, Harumi Matsukaze, Duncan, Denden, Tarô Suwa, Reita Serizawa, Kiriko Shimizu, Nagisa Takemura, Hayato Ichihara, Akihiro Toyotome, Shiori Yonezawa, Mashio Miyazaki

Director: Takashi Shimizu

Major League
Paramount Pictures, Mirage Enterprises, Morgan Creek Productions, USA, 1989.

In Cleveland baseball them Indians has not won the league in 35 years. Rachel Phelps (Margaret Whitton) inherits the team and wants to move the team to Miami. First she has to end the deal with city of Cleveland, and the deal will be broken if there is a major drop in audience. So the team needs to fail so badly that the audience will stay at home. What they need is a team of losers, former stars and misfits. Colourful bunch of players arrives: has-been baseball star Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger), voodoo-man Cerrano, weak-armed Eddie Harris (Chelcie Ross), sloppy-fingered snob Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen), wannabe-player Willie Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes) and jailbird Ricky Vaughn (Charlie Sheen).

Rachel Phelps

Eddie Harris and Roger Dorn

Ricky Vaughn and Jake Taylor

Against all odds the tough but fair coach Lou Brown (James Gammon) begins to get the motley crew on the winning track. Rachel tries dirty tricks to keep the team losing but they will not be discouraged. As a romantic sideplot Jake's old flame Lynn Wells (Rene Russo) is getting married and he decides to do something to repair the past. Also Ricky gets in a mess with Dorn's sexy wife Suzanne (Stacy Carroll).

Pedro Cerrano

Willie Mays Hayes

Lynn Wells

In the 1980s several variations of "Police Academy" were made and why not, there is always fun in watching a band of goofy underdogs outdo themselves. Every player has his own obstacles to overcome and there is always room for self-growth. The team even becomes interested in classical literatuire. Okay, in comic form but still. In the 1980s comedy style everything goes to achieve the feel good ending, so the story does not have great surprises but entertaining sports comedy does what it is supposed to do.

Lou Brown

Suzanne Dorn

Amusing characters are performed by many familiar faces. Tom Berenger is seldom seen in comedic roles and also here he is in mostly dramatic role, still cracking jokes with the others. Before Wesley Snipes became an action star, he did a career in comedies, this is a bit different role than he is usually seen. His character is energetic but somewhat gullible. Charlie Sheen has the role of bad boy, who becomes a sports idol.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, James Gammon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Charles Cyphers, Chelcie Ross, Dennis Haysbert, Andy Romano, Bob Uecker, Steve Yeager, Peter Vuckovich, Stacy Carroll, Richard Pickren, Kevin Crowley, Mary Seibel, Bill Leff, Mike Bacarella, Skip Griparis, Gary Houston, Ward Ohrman, Marge Kotlisky, Tony Mockus Jr., Deborah Wakeham, Neil Flynn, Keith Uchima, Kurt Uchima, William M. Sinacore, Richard Baird, Julia Milaris, Roger Unice, Michael Thoma, Patrick Dollymore, Joe Liss, Gregory Alan Williams, Peter Ruskin, Michael Hart, James Deuter, Jack McLaughlin-Gray, Tim Bell, Joe Soto, Ted Noose, Lenny Rubin, Thomas P. Purdoff, Jeffrey J. Edwards, Alexandra Villa, Michelle Minyon, Alex Flores, Michael F. Twarog, Ted White
Director: David S. Ward

Major League: Back to the Minors a.k.a Major League III
Morgan Creek Productions, Warner Bros., USA, 1998.

I thought I had all the "Major League"- films but I didn't, so I have to skip the second part for now. Oh well, this is not the first time I'm watching movies in the wrong order.

Gus Cantrell (Scott Bakula) is planning to quit his baseball career that has seen the better days. Stuck in lower leagues he does not have much room for advancement. Maybe he should start a peaceful life with his nice girlfriend Maggie Reynolds (Jensen Daggett). His old friend Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) suggest a new career coaching a minor team Buzz. After the previous movies Roger has become a baseball team owner.

Gus Cantrell

Maggie Reynolds

Roger Dorn

The most promising player in Buzz is Billy 'Downtown' Anderson (Walton Goggins) but he is also selfish diva. Other players are weak. Pitcher Hog Ellis (Judson Mills) needs to learn pitching and the second pitcher Carlton 'Doc' Windgate (Peter Mackenzie) is too slow. Lance Pere (Kenny Johnson) is a former ballet dancer trying a baseball career and Lopez twins (Tim, Tom & Ted DiFilippo) are always quarreling. Empathetic Frank 'Pops' Morgan (Thom Barry) is supportive but too old to run fast, so Gus makes him the Captain.

Frank 'Pops' Morgan

Hog Ellis

Billy Anderson

Roger wants Billy to his team Twins that is coached by Gus' old nemesis Leonard Huff (Ted McGinley). The game doesn't get better until two retired players 'Voodoo' Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) and Taka Tanaka (Takaaki Ishibashi) join the team and show the youngsters how to play baseball. Buzz gets a chance to humiliate Twins in a big arena, but Leonard does not play fair. Billy shows his skills though and Leonard hires Billy although he is still not ready for the big league. Losing the best player makes Buzz lose the motivation. The End.

...
...

Not really. Gus teaches that baseball is not one man show, but a team game. There is no "I" in "Team." The players deserve a second chance so it is a time for a rematch!

Cerrano

Taka Tanaka

Leonard Huff

Scott Bakula was good as a coach, whipping the underdog players into shape. Familiar character from the previous films Announcer Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker) has some funny scenes. And Ted McGinley, known for "Married With Children" still has slick idiot charm. There is some fun physical comedy but the verbal comedy is milder than in the first movie, mostly because the new player characters are not as funny. You just start waiting the appearance of the old team players. Roger Dorn is quite out of the character here, and makes wonder what happened between the first and the third film. It is not so bad but far from remarkable. Although the comedy gets slightly better near the end, it almost would work better as a baseball TV-movie drama.

Rating:

Average

Starring: Scott Bakula, Corbin Bernsen, Dennis Haysbert, Takaaki Ishibashi, Jensen Daggett, Eric Bruskotter, Walton Goggins, Ted McGinley, Kenny Johnson, Judson Mills, Lobo Sebastian, Thom Barry, Peter Mackenzie, Ted DiFilippo, Tim DiFilippo, Tom DiFilippo, Bob Uecker, Larry Brandenburg, Jack Baun, Mike Schatz, Joe Kelly, J. Don Ferguson, Brian Beegle, Ted Manson, Ronald 'Buzz' Bowman, Alex Van, Tim Ware, Robert M. Egan, Michael A. Lynch, Richard Bruce Doughty, Al Hamacher, Natalie Hendrix, Stephen Hardig, Letroy Myers, Gary P. Pozsik, André Tardieu, Brien Straw, R.J. Kackley, Bradley Crable, Ken Medlock, Lucinda Whitaker, Kimberly Herndon, Elizabeth Diane Wells, Gary Murphy, Scott Foxhall, Warren Peper, Dee Thompson, Raymond Sterling, Ron Clinton Smith, Richie Dye, Dolan Wilson, Laura-Shay Griffin, Mark Storm, Bayani Ison
Director: John Warren

Revenge of the Nerds
Twentieth Century Fox, Interscope Communications, Zacharias-Buhai Productions, USA, 1984.

Long before "Big-Bang Theory" or "IT Crowd" there was a film series "Revenge of the Nerds."

Geek-friends Lewis (Robert Carradine) and Gilbert (Anthony Edwards) (you have to know some chemistry to get the joke) go to college. Maybe they can meet some girls there. Unfortunately there are bullies who hate nerds. Ogre (Donald Gibb), Burke (Matt Salinger) and Stan (Ted McGinley) and other idiotic Alpha Beta jocks burn down their own frat house so with support from Coach Harris (John Goodman) they invade the freshman-dormitory kicking the new students out.

Lewis and his dad (James Cromwell)

Judy (Michelle Meyrink) and Gilbert

Ogre

The nerds are not accepted to fraternities so they decide to start their own. But the system is rigged so they are not allowed to do so. They join U.N Jefferson's (Bernie Casey) black fraternity Lambda-Lambda-Lambda and throw a party but the Alpha-Betas ruin it. The nerds plan a revenge with some juvenile pranks. Stan's girlfriend Betty Childs (Julia Montgomery) plays dirty tricks but ultimately can not resist love skills of the nerds.

Coach Harris and Dean Ulich (David Wohl)

Stan and Betty

Larry B. Scott, Brian Tochi and Curtis Armstrong

Lamar, Takashi and Booger

Although starring nerds it doesn't make the jokes intelligent, rather on the contrary. College-comedy has similar raunchy and low-brow jokes as "Animal House." There is a lot of crude fun but somehow it could have used the nerd-theme better. There are many laughably bad jokes too. It has the usual elements of college-comedies, wild parties, topless girls and silly contests so the genre hasn't really evolved much since that. The cast has typical side-characters for the comedies of the era, Gay, Oriental Guy and Pot-head that are fun but do not quite fit the definition of nerd but represent the social outcasts of the college world. In the end, though, there is talk about tolerance and sort of declaration of nerd-rights.

Sorority girls

Robot vacuum cleaner model 1984

Remember, mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person!

The Moper

Rating:

Average

Starring: Robert Carradine, Anthony Edwards, Timothy Busfield, Andrew Cassese, Curtis Armstrong, Larry B. Scott, Brian Tochi, Julia Montgomery, Michelle Meyrink, Ted McGinley, Matt Salinger, Donald Gibb, James Cromwell, David Wohl, John Goodman, Bernie Casey, Alice Hirson, F. William Parker, Roger Carter, Kres Mersky, Marianne Muellerleile, Lisa Welch, Suzanne B. Hayes, Shawn Siqueiros, Sandra Katzel, Henry Kendrick, Fumio Kodama, Lance Lombardo, William B. Wilson, Carl Cherry, Adam Frank, Taylor Samuels, Brad Grunberg, James Anklam, Matthew M. Haugh, William C. Horning, Angela C. Gardaphe, Lisa Kolasa, Kristen Kinderman, Kay Strunk, Gamble Baffert, Brian Lover, Jerry Kurinsky, Tonja Sue Philbee, Monique Sorenson, Calon Blackledge, Scott Bird, David Moskowitz, Steven Duran, Thomas Obeid, Theodore Kerpez, Michael Urena, Vincent Lindsley, Laura Bell, Linda Felker, Deborah Bernstein, Renee Mintz, Donna Costello, Lillie Nusz, Romy Dushoff, Rhonda Tinsley, Felicia Fagan, Jennifer Wilcox, John Almon, Brian Nelson, Daniel Egan, Thomas Repp, Jay Galland, Andrew Salan, Dean Heindel, Scott Spangler, Robert Melton, Steve Yeatras, Madaline Blinder, Colleen Madden, Lucy Craig, Susan Myers, Jennie Gaio, Kristi Nelson, Carolyn Hoover, Melissa Perlman, Karen Knutzen, Lori Stock, Chris Stravolo, Kelly Reed, Lloyd Sherr, Malcolm Gregor, Clinton James Austin, Greg Berg, Kris Levario, Peter J. Wacks, Michael L. White

Director: Jeff Kanew

Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise
Twentieth Century Fox, Interscope Communications, Amercent Films, American Entertainment Partners L.P., USA, 1987.

After gaining a victory for nerd-rights against Alpha-Beta jocks the Lambda-Lambda-Lambda nerds Lewis (Robert Carradine), Poindexter (Timothy Busfield), Lamar (Larry B. Scott), Booger (Curtis Armstrong) and Wormser (Andrew Cassese) travel to Fraternity Conference in Fort Lauderdale. Gilbert (Anthony Edwards) stays home as he broke his foot while playing chess. In sunny Florida bikini-girls are plentiful and that suits perfectly for the nerds.

Larry B. Scott, Robert Carradine,Timothy Busfield, Curtis Armstrong, Andrew Cassese

Lamar, Lewis, Poindexter, Wormser and Booger

Sunny

Buzz and Roger

In the hotel they meet new friends: friendly hotel trainee Sunny (Courtney Thorne-Smith, known as Alison from "Melrose Place") and pre-nerdcore era rapper Stewart (Barry Sobel) but also old enemies are there. Alpha-Betas are there with the bellowing jock Ogre (Donald Gibb) from the first movie, with his classic line: 'Nerds!' The hotel manager Buzz (Ed Lauter) does not want nerds in the hotel. Conspiring with jock-president Roger (Bradley Whitford) they evict the nerds. The nerds are forced to move to a sucky hotel, but the jocks are still not contended and try to kick them out of the conference. The nerds find themselves stranded on a deserted island and have to put their brains to use to get out.

Ogre

Nerds With Attitude

Although the permise is not as original as in the prequel than the first, I somehow enjoyed this more. The second Nerd-adventure rolls smoother than the previous, having less paartying and more plot and slightly more clean jokes. The basic idea is the same, the nerds try to get accepted but the jocks play dirty. However there are plot holes that look like the script was rewritten on the fly. Stewart has little meaning to the plot and it seems that originally Sunny was supposed to have romance with him, but the story arc was abandoned and in the end Sunny is hugging Lewis. Betty (Julia Montgomery) is seen only as a portrait that Lewis packs in his suitcase. Lewis, you womanizer. However in the third Nerd-movie Lewis and Betty are happily married so everything is well again (I don't have the sequels). Much of the events are silly but it is a fun and genuinely a 1980s comedy.

Lewis, you dog.

Courtney Thorne-Smith is cute in her nice girl role. Regular Oriental old guy actor James Hong appears as Snotty, the Master of Gross. After the first film Ogre became somewhat a cult character and likewise Jaws in the "Moonraker", he is made more sympathetic here.

Snotty

Rating:

Good

Starring: Robert Carradine, Curtis Armstrong, Larry B. Scott, Timothy Busfield, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Andrew Cassese, Donald Gibb, Bradley Whitford, Ed Lauter, Barry Sobel, Tom Hodges, Jack Gilpin, Anthony Edwards, James Hong, Priscilla Lopez, James Cromwell, Jason Julien, Marilyn Caskey, Richard Joseph Paul, Rhonda Waymire, Donna Rosea, Susan Vanech, Robert Goodman, Michael Fitzgerald, Huey Laborde, Raymond Forchion, Carmen Thomas, Miles Greadington, Victor Morris, Ed Knott Jr., Tom Boykin, Ruben Rabasa, Michael J. Carnevale, Noreen Compton, Janet Constable, Stephen Ray Cranford, Ellen Marguerite Cullivan, Ian Ng Cheng Hin, Scott Spinnuci, Kai Thorup, Todd Vittum
Director: Joe Roth

Chasers

Morgan Creek Productions, USA, 1994.

Sailor Eddie Devane (William McNamara) has a last day in the service of U.S. Navy. Couple of shady deals should be still completed, selling a cargo of army pants and covering the tracks together with partner-in-crime Howard (Crispin Glover). He has already ordered a Porsche from Salesman Stig (Dean Stockwell). However Eddie gets a last duty to escort a prisoner to court. There's no way to avoid the duty so he has to go on a mission with tough chief petty officer Rock Reilly (Tom Berenger) who already hates him.

Rock & Eddie

Due to technical error the prisoner they have to escort is a woman. Seductive Toni Johnson (Erika Eleniak) tries to escape on every possible occasion. Slowly the mismatched trio begins to develop fondness for each other. Nothing bonds better than little fist fighting and backstabbing.

Toni

Happily strolling on the countryside

Country music plays and quips fly. There is an amusing brief role from Gary Busey, he appears as pesky prison warden. This was the last feature film directed by Dennis Hopper, he appears here as pervy underwear salesman. Seymour Cassel appears as Master Chief Bogg.

Master Chief Bogg

Sergeant Banger

It is not very outstanding military comedy, with many ideas left half-way but has some fun scenes and is in some way entertaining. Berenger is pleasantly grumpy, Dwight Yoakam's songs and other country music are good and the story has a mild feel-good aftertaste. There is some nice southern country atmosphere with diners and roadhouses, 1970s-80s road comedies were perhaps the inspiration. There is some eye-candy for fans of William McNamara and Erika Eleniak, if you know what I mean. Still with the cast more fun could have been expected.

Rating:

Average

Starring: Tom Berenger, William McNamara, Erika Eleniak, Crispin Glover, Matthew Glave, Grand L. Bush, Dean Stockwell, Bitty Schram, Gary Busey, Seymour Cassel, Frederic Forrest, Marilu Henner, Dennis Hopper, Scott Marlowe, Jim Grimshaw, Mick McGovern, Charles Page, Richard Pelzman, Laura Cathey, Jim Bath, Michael Flippo, Rick Warner, Rob Priester, Gene Dann, Jon Rodgers, Michael Martin, Victoria Duffy, Michael O'Brien, Elizabeth Hawkins, Tony Donno, Wallace Wilkinson, Robert Pentz, Jackson 'Rock' Pinckney, Jimmie Lee Sessoms, Melissa Wyler, Ted Detwiler, Bob Dorough, John Christopher Stuart, Toni Prima, David E. Harshbarger, Matthew Sullivan, Justin Thaler
Director: Dennis Hopper

Atomic Twister
Once Upon a Time Films, TBS Superstation, USA, 2002.

Single-mother Corrine Maguire (Sharon Lawrence) and her son Campbell (Daniel Costello) have moved to small town in Tennessee. Neighbour Jake Hannah (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) is a virile police officer, who has a childhood's trauma. Tornado killed his mother, or that's what the told to Campbell. Jake has trouble with his former girl friend Ashley Bishop (Charmaine Guest) whose father happens to be Jake's boss Sheriff C.B. Bishop (Corbin Bernsen). So there is enough drama potential for a regular teen soap-opera.

Corrine

Jake

Ashley

Campbell is a player-wannabe who wants to play Twister with his considerably older and curvy nanny Stacy (Joanna Morrison). Naughty kid.

Stacy

But this is a disaster movie though. Corrine works in Helman-Klein nuclear plant. Security guard Stu (performed by Olympic champion Carl Lewis) is the only security of the plant that is manned by about 5 people. The reactor is safe and protected from meltdown. But is it tornado-proof? Of course not! The tornado is threatening the plant and even Stu can not sprint fast enough to avoid a dark fate. The communications are lost and the Standard Operating Procedure for Disaster Situations seems to be gone with the wind as no-one really knows what to do. Jake brings an emergency radio, but it only works outside (!) Also the nuclear power plant has chronic power shortages (!!)

Stu

This makes the safety procedures and management of Chernobyl look good.

If the tornado blows up the Calvin-Klein plant, it would have a huge negative impact on the property prices of the state (bad). So Dr. Martin Jennings (James Gaylyn) from Nuclear Regulatory Commission sends some experts to prevent the disaster. The only expert who gets to the location on time is Manuel Fluentez (George Henare) so Corrine and her work-mates Neville (John Sumner), Gail (Meryl Main) and Potter (Jonathan Blick) have to gain time to prevent the disaster. At the same time Corinne tries to save her son.

Gail stares at the monitor while Corrine looks horrified

Potter and Neville

Modest TV movie has dramatic music that sometimes sounds like background music from original "MacGyver." Although it is not quite worst of Syfy-style films, there are many scenes that make you shake your head. There is not much believability and the technical details are horrible. In one scene a guy has to walk through a radioactive area to hit the shutdown switch. One would think moving quickly would shorten the exposure time to radiation but no. Let's stroll slowly admiring the scenery instead. And with Stu dead just about anyone can wander into the nucular plant without hindrance. And if something is broken, kick it and it works again.

Yes, they really are tornadoes.

Some amusingly bad scenes and nice-looking ladies make it watchable. Otherwise it is pretty basic cheap disaster film that delivers a small amount of suspense.

No radiation-laced tornado is seen. Now that would be silly. That would be like combining already dangerous tornado with something overkill like sharks. What?

Corbin Bernsen drinking coffee

Rating: Bad

or So bad it is good

Starring: Sharon Lawrence, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Carl Lewis, Jonathan Blick, Daniel Costello, Charmaine Guest, George Henare, John Leigh, John Sumner, Corbin Bernsen, David Aston, Paul Barrett, Grant Bridger, Katrina Devine, Peter Feeney, Taylor Garton, James Gaylyn, Michele Hine, Meryl Main, Joanna Morrison, Ashleigh Seagar, Jared Michael Thomas, Louise Wallace, Sara Wiseman, Roz Turnbull, Jak Wyld
Director: Bill Corcoran

Willy Fog In 20000 Leagues Under the Sea a.k.a The Adventures of Willy Fog: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea a.k.a Willy Fog Matka kapteeni Nemon kanssa
BRB Internacional S.A., Televisión Española (TVE), Spain, Taiwan, 1993/1995.

Loosely based on characters created by Jules Verne.

"Around the World with Willy Fog" or "La vuelta al mundo de Willy Fog" was popular cartoon in Finland in the 1980s, "the Lion version" of Jules Verne's classic novel "Around the World in 80 Days." A sequel series "Willy Fog 2" was also made based on "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." Some episodes were cut into TV-movies. In the series most of the heroes were felines (except Tico who is hamster) whereas the antagonists were mostly canines. Interestingly, BRB produced also another classic series "Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds" where the heroes were dogs. Both "Willy Fog" and "Muskehounds" had theme songs that everyone who has seen the series remembers.

1871, London. Sea monster is attacking ships and US government asks gentleman adventurer Willy Fog to join the hunt. Of course Willy agrees and his wife Princess Romy and their loyal servants Passepartout and Tico pack their suitcases and get on board Abraham Lincoln. Harpooner Ned Land and Professor Aronnax are there too to offer help. And so the ship sees a sea beast roaming the ocean. The beast is made of metal so Ned's harpoons have no effect. The heroes are swept overboard and captured to Captain Nemo's submarine Nautilus.

Willy Fog

Passepartout and Tico

The crew is hostile and they don't even respect tea-time. Those barbarians. Being early pioneer of Bartitsu-style, Willy teaches some habits to the crew when they treat Romy disrespectfully. However some crew members are nice and the boat has a talented cook who makes even seaweed tasty. The Captain is a mysterious organ-playing figure.

Willy and Romy overboard

Prof. Aronnax and Ned Land join the adventure

The Cook

Paranoid Captain Nemo is sinking all ships that get on his way. Ned doesn't allow that and together the heroes save a ship that was almost sunk by Nemo's torpedoes. But what about all the sunken ships? Who cares. The premise of the quest is quickly forgotten (either because of slack scriptwriting that doesn't explain Nemo's motives or cutting of the original episodes) and everyone just enjoys the voyage. Although Nemo is basically a homicidal monomaniac he is also a gentleman who loves oceans (think about prototype of Karl Stromberg from "The Spy Who Loved Me") and shows Willy & friends the wonders of the underwater world. But a treacherous crew member plots against Willy. And dangerous icebergs and giant octopus threaten the boat too.

Captain Nemo

Ned prevents sinking of an innocent ship

Nautilus

The animation was made in Taiwan and it looks considerably cheaper than the original series that was coproduced with Nippon Animation, practically making it anime. The sequel series is not ugly like Dingo animations but the difference to the original is still noticeable (for example Romy has developed a squint).

The new characters Aronnax and Ned are quite one-use characters, and Nemo's character is mindbogglingly conflicted. But the main characters Willy, Romy, Passepartout and Tico are the same ones that were lovable in the original series, and their adventure has funny and exciting moments.

Rating:

Good (Willy Fog fans)

Average (otherwise)

Finnish version voice actors: Eero Saarinen, Heikki Määttänen, Ari-Matti Hedman, Elise Langenoja, Arto Nieminen, Minna Tasanto, Anssi Känsälä ja Pauli Virta
Director: Claudio Biern Boyd

Mr. Nice Guy (Yat goh ho yan) a.k.a No More Mr. Nice Guy a.k.a Mister Cool a.k.a SuperChef a.k.a A Nice Guy
Golden Harvest, Company Hong Kong, Australia, 1997.

Jackie (Jackie Chan) is a popular TV-chef. Ruthless drug lord Giancarlo (Richard Norton) wages a gang war with the Demons Gang. Reporter Diana (Gabrielle Fitzpatrick) and her crew were just filming a messy drug deal when the bad guys noticed them. Only Diana gets away with the video tape. Luckily she meets Jackie, who knows kung-fu. While escaping the criminals there is a mix up and Diana gets a tape demonstrating Jackie's cooking skills.

Diana

Garbage day!

Jackie wanted to be a cop but his father thought that it was too dangerous. Family friend Baggio (Barry Otto) made sure that Jackie pursued safe cook's career. It will not stay safe as Giancarlo's men crash the cooking event searching for the video tape and also Demons join the fun with gang bosses Sandy (Rachel Blakely) and Victor (David William No). Jackie and his Chinese girlfriend Miki (Miki Lee) escape.

Miki

Victor and Sandy

To add more women to the story, there is Jackie's assistant Lakisha (Karen McLymont). There is a potential for harem comedy, as Miki is jealous and also Diana drops in to find the video. But that's enough drama and romantic comedy as the action soon continues. Even mild mannered Jackie gets mad when the baddies blow up his home and kidnap Miki.

Giancarlo

Jackie Chan, Miki Lee, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick and Karen McLymont

Miki, Diana and Lakisha

Knock knock!

Although Jackie's golden era was in the 1980s Jackie Chan made also numerous entertaining films in the 1990s. This is the film that contains:

-horse carriage chase

-Jackie fights in a van

-Jackie plays hide-and-seek with bad guys in a corridor of doors.

-Cool fight on a construction site with bad guy getting stuck in a concrete mixer

-Jackie demolishes bad guy's house with haul truck.

Distributor New Line Cinema cut the movie to 84 minutes (originally 97 minutes). Although the story is paper thin and all the plot threads remain loose in the end (for example Diana just gets knocked unconscious and disappears from the story before the end, maybe it is just New Line Cinema's editing or then Sammo just didn't care), it has still good action, turbo-paced and comical in the way of best Jackie Chan films. It has fun slapstick comedy and crazy stunts. Director Sammo Hung has a small role as a hapless cyclist. The henchmen of Giancarlo are nameless, there is a blonde thug who seems to be right hand man but he is undistinguished in the credits listed probably under "Giancarlo's men." Also familiar Western face from Jackie's 1990s era films, stunt actor and stunt choreographer Bradley James Allan is among the baddies.

Unknown blonde thug

Rating:

Good

Starring: Jackie Chan, Richard Norton, Miki Lee, Karen McLymont, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick, Vince Poletto, Barry Otto, Sammo Kam-Bo Hung, Emil Chau, Joyce Godenzi, Peter Houghton, Peter Lindsay, David William No, Rachel Blakely, Judy Green, Stefan Fredrich, Stuart Ritchie, Jonathan Isgar, Kyne Sedgman, Steve Kahlua, Matt Trihey, Matthew Meersbergen, Les Vzice, Karl Ajami, Frederick MacGlure, Bradley James Allan, Douglas Macdonald, Paul Andreovski, Robert Lowe, David Baldwin, Ian Mall, Kerry Blakeman, Zeq McCoy ,Mark Campbell, Mike Menzies, Terry Carter, Jason Murphy, Dennis Lundin, Michael Noonan, Tony Doherty, George Novak, Cameron Douglas, Grant Page, Paul Douglas, Puven Pather, Stuart Ellis, Harry Pavlidis, Mark Fitzpatrick, George Popovich, Stuart Fraser, Johnny Raaen, Michael Hammad, Joseph Sayah, Habby Heske, Gary Shambrooke, Brent Houghton, Vess Svorcan, Richard Huggett, Graham Jahne, Davin Taylor, Chris Kemp, Darko Tuscan, Jade Weitering, Damon Young ,Aaron Notarfrancesco, Jake Notarfrancesco, Frederick Miragliotta, Nick Carrafa, Rod Catteral, Ben Mitchell, Mark Neal, Jerome Pride, Keith Agius, Greg Jamieson, Matthew Dyktynski, Salik Silverstein, Lynne Murphy, Nicholas Bufalo, Shane Alexander, Carla Bonner, Glen Chin, Dan Tucker

Director: Sammo Kam-Bo Hung

The Nice Guys
Misty Mountains, Bloom, Lipsync Productions, Nice Guys, Silver Pictures, Waypoint Entertainment, USA, 2016.

Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) is a bruiser for hire and Holland March (Ryan Gosling) is a jaded private detective in the 1970s Los Angeles. Adult film star Misty Mountains (Murielle Telio) crashes her car and dies. Girl named Amelia (Margaret Qualley) knows something about Misty's death. Holland is hired by Misty's aunt do find Amelia. Jackson is fooled by Amelia to motivate Holland to leave her alone. But it does not get easy for Jackson either as some crooks also search for Amelia and beat him up. They even kill his gold fish. Unacceptable! So Jackson realizes that Amelia is in danger and hires Holland to find her.

Jackson

Holland and Holly

Amelia

Unsolved murders seem to pop around every corner. The investigations of the duo get dangerous and soon a feared hitman John Boy (Matt Bomer) steps in. Also politician Judith Kuttner (Kim Basinger) and her assistant Tally (Yaya DaCosta) have an offer to the Nice Guys.

Judith Kuttner

Tally

"Lethal Weapon" and "The Last Boy Scout" writer Shane Black wrote and directed a neo-noir comedy set in the 1970s. The popular culture then had innocent entertainment as "The Waltons" and porn flicks like "Deep Throat" and some humour is found from the conflict of the two worlds. Crowe/Gosling duo works well. Jackson is the heavy, taking care of fighting. Holland is the brains, well brains and brains. Holland thinks he is a smart detective, but he is constantly misquoting, accident-prone and rather stumbles upon clues than finds them. He is quite different from the cool characters Gosling usually plays. Holland's daughter Holly (Angourie Rice) brings the moral spine to the misadventures of the cynical men in corrupt world. Still the ending feels pointless, and there is a feeling of origin story. It would not be a wonder if some sequel for the duo was made some day.

Rating:

Good

Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Matt Bomer, Margaret Qualley, Yaya DaCosta, Keith David, Beau Knapp, Lois Smith, Murielle Telio, Gil Gerard, Daisy Tahan, Kim Basinger, Jack Kilmer, Lance Valentine Butler, Ty Simpkins, Cayla Brady, Tammi Arender, Rebecca Dalton Rusk, Terence Rosemore, John L. Morris, Michelle Rivera, Nathaniel 'Nate' Scott, Amy Goddard, Frank Mottek, Joanne Spracklen, Greg Lindsay, Maddie Compton, J. Todd Anderson, Meredith Berg, Lauren Marini, Ward Roberts, Ryan Powers, Lauren Bair, Zarah Kulczycki, Hana Yuka Sano, Marvin Ross, Rachele Brooke Smith, Adriana Karras, Milo Wesley, Marilyn Chen, Matthew Warzel, Jordan Hairston, Angela Everhart, Joshua Hoover, Yvonne Zima, Lexi Johnson, Chloe Hurst, Gary Weeks, Charles Green, Gary Wolf, Hannibal Buress, Steve Wilder, Garrett Carpenter, Hank Quillen, Michael Beasley, Dominic Bagarozzi, Karrueche Tran, Carson Meyer

Director: Shane Black

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