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Movie Review: A Night at the Roxbury

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A Night at the Roxbury
Paramount Pictures, SNL Studios, USA, 1998.
A Night at the Roxbury title
Brothers Steve Butabi (Will Ferrell) and Doug Butabi (Chris Kattan) have a life mission: to get in nightclub named Roxbury. The bouncer (Michael Clarke Duncan) never lets them in. The brothers also dream of starting their own nightclub. Their father (Dan Hedaya) has other plans and wants the boys to work in his fake flower shop. Also Steve should marry pushy Emily of the neighbouring lamp shop.
Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan
Steve and Doug
Michael Clarke Duncan
The bouncer
Dan Hedaya
Kamehl Butabi
Richard Grieco collides with their van so they get a chance to get in Roxbury as Richard's guests. They try to introduce their ideas to nightclub entrepreneur Benny Zadir (Chazz Palminteri). Temporarily the boys get into jet set lifestyle as everyone thinks that they are Zadir's business partners. They also attract some gold diggers (Gigi Rice and Elisa Donovan)
Meredith Scott Lynn
Credit Vixen (Meredith Scott Lynn)
Molly Shannon
Emily
Vivica and Cambi (Gigi Rice and Elisa Donovan)
The movie is based on Saturday Night Live skit from the era that the show was still fun. The Roxbury Guys spawned Internet memes where Ferrell, Kattan and Jim Carrey bop their heads while listening Haddaway's "What is Love."
The story is based on one joke but it is enough as the 1990s style and the overall hilarity carries the film. The silly brothers are sympathetic losers trying to follow their dream. The 90s dance music brings a nostalgic feeling. The dialogue has funny one liners and silly pick-up lines. The plot is not important but more it is a goofy time-capsule of 90s dance club culture. Nice movie to watch with friends on Friday night for example.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#7. Movie that has a party or festival)

Rating: Good

Starring: Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Raquel Gardner, Viveca Paulin, Paulette Braxton, Michael M. Horton, Richard Francese, Jennifer Coolidge, Michael Clarke Duncan, Richard Grieco, Trish Ramish, Loni Anderson, Dan Hedaya, Gina Mari, Roy Jenkins, Meredith Scott Lynn, Kip King, Molly Shannon, Dwayne Hickman, Lochlyn Munro, Mary Ann Kellogg, Maree Cheatham, Kristen Dalton, Colin Quinn, Gigi Rice, Elisa Donovan, Deborah Kellner, Robin Krieger, Betty A. Bridges, Yoshio Be, Victor Kobayashi, Twink Caplan, Eva Mendes, Mark McKinney, Chad Bannon, Jim Wise, Patrick Ferrell, Dorian Spencer, Tina Weisinger, Christina Eliason, Rachel Galvin, Agata Gotova, Andrew Marks, L. Christian Mixon, Chazz Palminteri, Louis E. Rosas, Mary Ann Schmidt, Valentin Siroon
Directors: John Fortenberry, Amy Heckerling

Movie Review: Paris - When It Sizzles

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Paris - When It Sizzles
Richard Quine Productions, George Axelrod Productions, USA, 1964.
Movie producer Alexander Meyerheim (Noël Coward) is waiting for movie script from Richard Benson (William Holden). Richard is more interested in boozing up and chasing skirts. He gets a new secretary Gabrielle Simpson (Audrey Hepburn) who is a stunning linguist. There are only two days to write the script for movie "The Girl Who Stole Eiffel Tower."
Noël Coward
Alexander Meyerheim
William Holden
Richard
Audrey Hepburn
Gabrielle
Richard tries to make up the story while flirting with Gabrielle. The characters in the scripted story look surprisingly similar to them. The possible plotlines switch between agent story to campy vampire story and to caper story. Gabrielle begins to fall in love with Richard but does the middle-aged cynical drunk want to change his habits? 
Campy Dracula
William Holden and Audrey Hepburn
Oh, Paris.
The film is a remake of "La Fête à Henriette." It is light as a cotton candy. This one I saw a long time ago and I remembered it to be better. The shaggy dog film is not William Holden's or Audrey Hepburn's brightest moment although both are charismatic as always. It is stylish and chic but suffers from overblown events and gets carried away with its own cleverness. Much of the film is about the fictional B-grade agent/caper meta-story. The film has some good and pioneering satire on Hollywood cliches and formulas and it also laughs at the minimalistic New Wave- cinema. There are many inside jokes about Hollywood and stars from Marlene Dietrich to Tony Curtis visit in small roles.  
Marlene Dietrich
Maurice / Philippe (Tony Curtis)

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#44. Classic romantic movie)

Rating: Average

Starring: William Holden, Audrey Hepburn, Grégoire Aslan, Raymond Bussières, Christian Duvaleix, Michel Thomass, Dominique Boschero, Evi Marandi, Noël Coward, Tony Curtis, Marlene Dietrich, Mel Ferrer, Orestis Ganakis, Henri Garcin, Frank Sinatra
Director: Richard Quine

Movie Review: 9 Deaths of the Ninja

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9 Deaths of the Ninja a.k.a Nine Deaths of the Ninja a.k.a Deadly Warrior a.k.a American Ninja 
Crown International Pictures, USA, Philippines, 1985. 
9 Deaths of the Ninja title
1. Ninjas are agile and move at night & cats are agile and move at night. => Ninjas are cats.
2. Cats have nine lives => Cats die nine times.
Conclusion: Ninjas die nine times... Nine Deaths of the Ninja! 

Somewhere in the desert two American ninjas destroy a terrorist outpost. But it was just a drill to demonstrate DART teams strength. DART team are Spike Shinobi (Shô Kosugi), Steve Gordon (Brent Huff) and communications officer Jennifer Barnes (Emilia Lesniak). 
Shô Kosugi
Spike Shinobi
Brent Huff and Emilia Lesniak
Steve Gordon and Jennifer Barnes
In Philippines terrorists butch Honey Hump (Regina Richardson), questionable surgeon Dr. Wolf (Bruce Fanger) and nazi Alby 'The Cruel' Brant (Blackie Dammett)  kidnap bus full of tourists. Their intention is to free their always happy leader Mohammed Rahji (Sonny Erang) and drive away anti-drug operatives. Albert is like parody version of Dr. Strangelove. 
Blackie Dammett
Alby 'The Cruel' Brant
Regina Richardson
Honey Hump
Sonny Erang
Mohammed Rahji
DART team investigates who leaked list of DEA agents to the terrorists. While investigating clues they meet midget assassins. Wut? Also one thug falls about 9 feet and dies. I guess he wasn't a cat. Meanwhile the terrorists have a polka party (!)
Kung fu midgets
Polka party!
Emilia Lesniak and Vic Ordonez
Jennifer Barnes and Major Quirino (Vic Ordonez)
This a weird ninja film. Opening titles are a mix of James Bond- style titles mixed with martial arts film opening where a ninja practises his skills. Kosugi does the ninja stuff, fighting against some randomly appearing ninjas while Huff does the shooting. The characters and events are too absurd to this be taken as a serious action film. Impossible to know if this was supposed to be an action comedy imitating Roger Moore's Bond-films or did the absurdity just make it more comical than intended. On second thought they can not have been serious. Well it does not really matter. With bad acting, silly villains, wacky disguises and ninja gadgets this is hysterically entertaining bad film.

Also Shô Kosugi's sons Kane & Shane offer some backup to the heroes.
Shane & Kane Kosugi

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#8. Movie that has a cover you can use as a mask or "movieface")

Rating: So bad it is good

Starring: Shô Kosugi, Brent Huff, Emilia Crow (as Emilia Lesniak), Blackie Dammett, Regina Richardson, Vijay Amritraj, Lisa Friedman, Kane Kosugi, Shane Kosugi, Bruce Fanger, Sonny Erang, Aiko Cownden, Jennifer Crumrine, Helen McNeely, Protacio Dee, Judy Wilson, Joji Nagai, Ken Watanabe, Vic Ordonez, Lea Navarro, Ric Segreto, Ron Milhench, Jacques Gervais, Warren McLean, Susan Meyer, Sam Lombardo, Nancy Keaton, James Crumrine, Emebet Aigaz, Des Ayallew, Cynthia Villa-Abrille, Henry Strzalkowski, Ann Milhench, Chantal Manz, Marina Miatke, Allen Beatson, Mike Alejandrino, Timoteo Bismark, Kess Burias, Carissa Carlos, Imelda Dominguez, Gina Valenciano, Mabeth Webb, Lani Fernando, David Brass, John Ladalski, Louie Senn 
Director: Emmett Alston

Movie Review: Amelia

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Amelia 
Fox Searchlight Pictures, Avalon Pictures, AE Electra Productions, USA, Canada, 2009. 
Amelia title

Based on the biography books "East to the Dawn" by Susan Butler and "The Sound of Wings" by Mary S. Lovell. 

In 1937 Amelia Earhart (Hilary Swank) starts record flight attempt to fly around the world. She remembers her life before that. In 1928 Amelia tries to get funding for flight across Atlantic from book publisher Mr. George Putnam (Richard Gere). HOwevere what he suggests is a hoax where a pilots Bill Stultz (Joe Anderson) and copilot Slim Gordon (Aaron Abrams) would really do the flying. The first attempt fails because the plane has too much weight. Amalia takes command and orders removal of some fuel to make it lighter. That does the trick. 
Hilary Swank
Amelia Earhart
Richard Gere
George Putnam
Aaron Abrams and Joe Anderson
Slim Gordon and Bill Stultz
The success of Amelia inspires also young female pilot Elinor Smith (Mia Wasikowska). George wants to marry Amelia but she declines because she wants to see the world. Amelia proves her aviation skills with solo flight over Atlantic. Finally Amalia agrees to marry George. Amelia becomes a celebrity but she wants to be free. George is interested in businesses but future Federal Aviation administrator Gene Vidal (Ewan McGregor) brings out also Amelia's feminine side resulting to love triangle.
Fokker F.VIIb/3m
Fokker F.VIIb/3m
Mia Wasikowska
Elinor Smith
Ewan McGregor
Gene Vidal
George arranges funding for Amelia's round-the-world flight. First attempt of Amelia and navigator Fred Noonan (Christopher Eccleston) fails. Amelia does not want to give up. She wants to show the world that women can fly. Amelia and George find romantic spark again. On the final stretch of the flight Amelia disappears. 
American heroine
Lockheed Model 10 Electra
Lockheed Model 10 Electra
Christopher Eccleston and Hilary Swank
Fred Noonan and Amelia
Swank does really look like Earhart and pulls the tomboyish role well. The film is an interesting character study about woman who wanted to show that also women can be pilots. It was also notable that PR was very important in the pioneering times of flight, as the pilots had to make aviation interesting for the public and get funding from sponsors. The cinematography looks good and flight scenes are beautiful. Richard Gere's character goes through the most character development as at first he seems like a callous businessman but becomes later a trusted and loved companion of Amelia. However Amelia's youth is quickly brushed aside, making no other observation that she was a country girl who wanted to fly.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#22. Biography movie)

Rating: Good

Starring: Hilary Swank, Richard Gere, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Eccleston, Joe Anderson, Cherry Jones, Mia Wasikowska, Aaron Abrams, Dylan Roberts, Scott Yaphe, Tom Fairfoot, Ryann Shane, William Cuddy, Elizabeth Shepherd, Richard Donat, Scott Anderson, Sarah Kitz, Keelin Jack, Jeremy Akerman, Derek Keurvorst, Thomas Hauff, Sarah Dood, Danielle Bourgon, Hamish McEwan, Michael Daly, Jeffrey Knight, Paul Johnston, Michael Richard, Daniel Janks, Ron Smerczak, Kerin McCue, Richard Lothian, Divine Brown, Elizabeth Saunders, Precious Chong, Kathryn Haggis, Duane Murray, Joe Renzi, Geoff Gillespie, Andrea Ciacci, Julia Juhas, Alexandra MacLean, Kristen Munro, Eva Redpath, Jamie Holmes, Brittany Gray, Karissa Strain, Katie Strain, Valerie Saija, Nina Strazzulla, Leanne Melissa Bishop, James Byron, Amelia Earhart, Gillian Ferrier, Michael Malott
Director: Mira Nair

Movie Review: Sunday School Musical

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Sunday School Musical a.k.a Sunday School The Musical
Faith Films, USA, 2008.
Sunday School Musical title
Zachary (Chris Chatman) sings in the Hawthorne Church School's (Afro-American) gospel choir. In choir competition they and the Crossroads Choir (White) are selected for the state competition. The competition looks like an easy win as the Crossroads Choir can not sing. The much-needed prize money would save the Hawthorne Church. 
Krystle Connor, Chris Chatham and Hitcliff Leigh Tan
Aundrea, Zach and Trevor
Zachary and his friends Aundrea (Krystle Connor) and Trevor (Hitcliff Leigh Tan) dis the Crossroads Choir. Zachary's nurse mother (Millena Gay) gets fired (it's the recession). Zach's father is on the military tour, so the family must move temporarily to Zachary's aunt Janet (Rae Silva). Zachary must change schools and what a surprise! Zach's new school is the Crossroads High School. Zachary sees that Aundrea cared for him only because he could sing. 
 Shane Carther Thomas, Chris Chatham and Millena Gay
Zach's family
Chris Chatham and Krystle Connor
Zachary and Aundrea
In the new school Zach meets Savannah (Candise Lakota). The other kids shun him on Bible study class, especially Miles (Robert Acinapura). Savannah is a hard-working student and crams the order of mitosis with her dad Pastor Joe (Mark Hengst). Zach's studies, on the other hand, begin to suffer.
Candise Lakota
Savannah
Robert Acinapura
Miles
Mark Hengst and Candise Lakota
Interphase, Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, Telephase!
Zach gets detention for not making his homework so he has to clean the class room while the choir is practising (oh my ears hurt). He gives tips to Crossroads Choir. The choir wants Zach but Miles is opposing. Zach's old friends abandon him so he joins the choir.

Miles and Savannah have artistic differences and try to sink each other into a bog by singing. Zach gets ultimatum from teacher: unless he gets B or better on the next test he will not be allowed to sing in the choir. Also Savannah has her problems. Her father shrunk her favourite shirt! Meanwhile Hawthorne school is closing down because they haven't got money. Zachary must get the rivals to cooperate to save the church.
Musical fight!
You shrunk my shirt!
Crossroads Choir
Produced by Faith Films (religious movie division of The Asylum). Basically this is a Christian mockbuster of "High School Musical."

This was quite awkward film. On the positive side Chris Chatman has a good singing voice. Also the other singers are quite good but would need better script and songs to bring out their talents. The story is about as generic as possible. All the problems are solved easily without much thought making the drama weak. Cheesy high school musical is made extra cheesy with lazily included Christianity. There's so much cheese that I want a hamburger! I don't know. Maybe this will appeal to those desperate for any Christian family entertainment as the story is clean and emphasizes co-operation and charity. I would rather watch some "Highway to Heaven" reruns.

As a cherry on the top the UK DVD age rating would be Universal if some brainiac hadn't thought it to be a bright idea to include gory trailers for Asylym's horror films as extras resulting to BBFC rating 15. How did it go, like, um, in your own opinion?

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#21. Movie that is set in school)

Rating: Bad

Starring: Chris Chatman, Candise Lakota, Krystle Connor, Robert Acinapura, Amy Ganser, Millena Gay, Dustin Fitzsimons, Hitcliff Leigh Tan, Mark Hengst, Rae Silva, Kesha Ealy, Shane Carther Thomas, Debra Lynn Hull, Justin Spanko, Daniel J. Roberts, Brian Brinkman, Walter J. Harris, Sharon Diane King, Tom Nance, Cecile del Rosario, Shari Emami, Sharon Stockbridge, Donald C. Turner and over 80 choir members and background persons.
Director: Rachel Lee Goldenberg

Movie Review: Flubber

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Flubber
Walt Disney Pictures, Great Oaks Entertainment, USA, 1997.
Flubber title
Professor Philip Brainard (Robin Williams) is trying to save his college's funding with new energy source. He is absent-minded and forgets his own wedding with Dr. Sara Jean Reynolds (Marcia Gay Harden). The Professor has two robot helpers flying robot Weebo (Jodi Benson) that looks like something from "*batteries not included"  and Weber, a more generic worker robot. His former partner Wilson Croft (Christopher McDonald) stole some of Phil's inventions and profited with them. Wilson tries also take Sara from him.
Robin Williams
Professor Philip Brainard
Weebo
Marcia Gay Harden
Sara
Just before the wedding Phil invents a living rubber thing Flubber. Hoenicker (Raymond J. Barry) is unhappy that the Professor flunked his son Bennett (Wil Wheaton) in chemistry and decides to get revenge. Hoenicker sends goons Smith (Clancy Brown) & Wesson (Ted Levine) to spy on the Professor.
Christopher McDonald
Wilson Croft
Raymond J. Barry
Hoenicker
Ted Levine and Clancy Brown
Wesson and Smith
Phil tries to win Sara back by demonstrating the usefulness of Flubber. Possible uses for Flubber are energy source, basketball sneaker additive, and a component of flying car. Soon everyone tries to steal Flubber.

This is a remake of "The Absent-Minded Professor" (1961) and produced by John Hughes. Robin Williams tries to be funny but the humour relies too much on "Home Alone" style slapstick and it gets repetitive and dumb. Flubber has fun cartoon-style dance scene but feels otherwise underused as mostly it just bounces around. The film loans some ideas from Hughes' other films such as "Weird Science" when Weebo creates human avatar.  It was also nice idea to have Weebo show video clips to demonstrate her thoughts. The remake does not rise even close to the level of the original but remains as an average kids' film of the era.
Dancing Flubber
Weebo's reaction screen
The good cast feels underused in the generic roles, surprisingly the best role is made by the Weebo robot. Mythbusters Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage worked in the special effects crew. Nancy Olson from the original 1961 film makes a cameo role as Ford Company's secretary.
Nancy Olson
Ford Company's secretary
Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#16. Movie whose main character is working in your dream job: Scientist)

Rating: Bad

Starring: Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald, Ted Levine, Clancy Brown, Raymond J. Barry, Wil Wheaton, Edie McClurg, Jodi Benson, Leslie Stefanson, Malcolm Brownson, Benjamin Brock, Dakin Matthews, Zack Zeigler, Sam Lloyd, Scott Michael Campbell, Bob Sarlatte, Bob Greene, Tom Barlow, Scott Martin Gershin, Julie Morrison, Antonina Henderson, Elmer J. Howard, J.D. Walker
Director: Les Mayfield

Movie Review: Big Man Japan (Dai-Nihonjin)

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Big Man Japan (Dai-Nihonjin)
RealProduct, Yoshimoto Kogyo Company, Japan, 2007.
Big Man Japan (Dai-Nihonjin) title
Masaru Daisatô (Hitoshi Matsumoto) a.k.a Sato has an unusual job. He seems to be a regular unhappy middle-aged man but when necessary he is powered up and he turns into Big Man Japan battling monsters threatening Tokyo. His family life has suffered because he has to be always on alert. His Manager Kobori (Ua) takes care of PR and sells ad space from his skin. She also rips him off. The public does not like him because the battles cause damage to infrastructure and he is fat. Someone paints insulting graffiti on his house walls. Also a TV show about his fights gets poor ratings. In the old days monster fighters were respected and celebrated. 
Hitoshi Matsumoto
Masaru Daisatô
Lisää kuvateksti
Ua
Manager Kobori
Sato's Grandfather (Taichi Yazaki) was also Big Man Japan, but the continuing electric shocks caused dementia. When mysterious North Korean monster appears and beats Big Man Japan, the ratings of his show suddenly surge. Then series of monster-related scandals eat away the popularity again.
Strangling monster
Ad space for sale
Leaping monster
Presented in pseudo-documentary style the movie is quite slow, it is kind of anti-Marvel movie. The hero is not young or energetic but a downbeat middle-aged man who is just doing his job and continuing the family business. The rituals performed before his transformation are more for keeping up the old customs than really necessary. The origin of the monsters are never explained but they ascend to heaven when they die. There is also satire about the historically troublematic relationship between USA and Japan.
Yayyyy!
This is the Spinal Tap of the superhero movies. Although advertised as hilarious comedy this is actually quite tragic comedy. The humour is dry and deadpan and it is easy to miss the subtle comedy. This is contrasted by the monsters who are absurd and surreal, "only in Japan." Also the ending takes an absurd turn spoofing Japanese superhero shows and America saving the day. "We're all living in America, America ist wunderbar."
The Super Justice Team

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#24. Movie that is located in a place you have always wanted to visit: Japan)

Rating: Good

Starring: Hitoshi Matsumoto, Riki Takeuchi, Ua, Ryûnosuke Kamiki, Haruka Unabara, Tomoji Hasegawa, Itsuji Itao, Hiroyuki Miyasako, Takayuki Haranishi, Daisuke Miyagawa, Takuya Hashimoto, Taichi Yazaki, Shion Machida, Atsuko Nakamura, Daisuke Nagakura, Motohiro Toriki, Keidai Yano, Junshirô Hayama, Kôichi Kitamura, Norio Nakayama, Toshihiro Koike, Atsuo Tanaka, Yoshio Takahashi, Yoshihiro Kasuya, Yumiko Ise, Roselyn Yoshio, Kaho Okajima, Jeong-Suk O., Yoshihisa Shimazaki, Katsumune Ônuki, Norihito Kobari, Masayuki Sekine, Takumi Matsumoto, Ryushin Tei, Tatsuya Ôba, Salam Diagne, Yasuhiro Roppongi, Yutaka Mishima, Hidetoshi Ito, Ai Nagano, Kiyozumi Honda, Satoya Ishii, Seijirô Nakamura, Yûki Baba, Shunsaku Yajima, Hiroko Toda, Tetsuya Kume, Yuka Kamebuchi, Hiroko Nohara, Miho Silica Nakajima
Director: Hitoshi Matsumoto     

Movie Review: Morning Glory (2010)

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Morning Glory 
Paramount Pictures, Bad Robot, Goldcrest Pictures, USA, 2010. 
Morning Glory title
Becky (Rachel McAdams) is plucky producer of popular morning TV show. She is committed to her work and she is single. Her career ends because the corporate wants to pave way for a new future channel leader. Jerry Barnes (Jeff Goldblum) gives her a new job opportunity as executive producer of mediocre morning TV show Daybreak.
Rachel McAdams
Becky Fuller
Jeff Goldblum
Jerry Barnes
Second producer Lenny (John Pankow)
The work atmosphere is bad and the hosts of the show Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton) and Paul McVee (Ty Burrell) are weird. Becky fires Paul for his low work morale. Becky wants to hire her idol, famous but rude journalist Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford). Mike is not interested but his contract with the channel requires him to appear on the air or he loses his contract. Becky meets romantic interest man candy Adam Bennett (Patrick Wilson).
Ty Burrell
Paul McVee
Diane Keaton
Colleen Peck
Patrick Wilson
Adam Bennett
The show is struggling and the channel threatens to cancel it. Becky invents wacky gimmicks to raise the ratings but Mike makes her work difficult. Weatherman Ernie Appleby (Matt Malloy) is sent to test a new roller coaster, experience a jet fighter ride and he also gets a tattoo on live broadcast. Mike does not want to play but is interested only in serious news topics.
Harrison Ford
Mike Pomeroy
It was quite fun, with good and eccentric cast. Harrison Ford is grumpier than ever. Energetic Rachel McAdams is like younger generation Julia Roberts and this is definitely her show. The romantic subplot is bit smaller than I expected as the main focus is watching how Becky tries to keep the show running. And also it offers a humoristic view on the backstage of a morning TV show. This is not meant to challenge "Network" as a media satire but works nicely as a lighthearted comedy.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#12. Movie whose name refers to part of a day)

Rating: Good

Starring: Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton, Harrison Ford, Noah Bean, Jack Davidson, Vanessa Aspillaga, Jeff Hiller, Linda Powell, Mike Hydeck, Joseph J. Vargas, Mario Frieson, Kevin Herbst, Jerome Weinstein, Steve Park, David Fonteno, Patti D'Arbanville, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson, Ty Burrell, Adrian Martinez, John Pankow, J. Elaine Marcos, Matt Malloy, Rizwan Manji, Jay Russell, Finnerty Steeves, Rick Younger, Arden Myrin, Caroline Clay, Katie Hyde, Allen Warnock, Welker White, Maddie Corman, Jeremy Beiler, Jonathan Forte, Kevin Pariseau, Christopher Sieber, Elizabeth Keifer, Lauren Cohn, Jayne Houdyshell, Miguel A. Hernandez Jr., Alice Callahan, Miles O'Brien, Elaine Kaufman, Bob Schieffer, Morley Safer, Chris Matthews, Don Roy King, Robert Caminiti, Stefani Cohen, Gray Winslow, Kristine Nielsen, Paul Urcioli, Rosalynd Darling, Gio Perez, Pepper Binkley, Steve McAuliff, Vincent J. Robinson, 50 Cent, Tony Yayo, DJ Whoo Kid, Lloyd Banks, Don Hewitt, Reed Birney, Carmen M. Herlihy, Bruce Altman, Kathleen McNenny, Jason Kravits, John Bundy
Director: Roger Michell

Movie Review: The Egg and I

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The Egg and I
Universal International Pictures, USA, 1947.
The Egg and I title
The movie is based on humorous memoir by Betty MacDonald.

Betty MacDonald's (Claudette Colbert) husband Bob (Fred MacMurray, who later played the original inventor of Flubber in "The Absent Minded Professor") buys a chicken farm. Of course it needs a bit furnishing first. Or maybe a bit more. The work is hard and the neighbours are eccentric. City girl Betty is clueless about the animals. The pig is stubborn and the chicks are too cute. Luckily scary and ferocious hunting dog Sport is really a coward. 
Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray
Betty and Bob
Farm needs some work
Cleopatra the Pig
The neighbouring family Kettle has smart son Tom (Richard Long) who helps them to get the chicken farm running. Ma and Pa Kettle (Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride) are lazy and loan items without ever returning them. They have over dozen kids and they do not remember everyone's name. However the MacDonalds find them nice and friendly.
The chicks
Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride
Ma and Pa Kettle
Richard Long
Tom Kettle
Harriet Putnam (Louise Allbritton) from Bella Vista Dairy Farm helps them get an egg contract from Mr. Henty (Donald MacBride). Miss Putham is a bit too friendly, thinks Betty. The farm life is stressful to Betty. There is a joke referencing Claudette Colbert's previous film career: while eating ham made from pig named Cleopatra, Betty remarks that she is not a cannibal (Claudette Colbert played Cleopatra in 1934 film).
Louise Allbritton
Harriet Putnam
Bob being open minded
Pa Kettle's moonshine still causes a fire that threatens to burn their farm down. The friendly community helps them rebuild the farm. Bob is too enthustiastic about the farm and neglects Betty. Betty's nerves are tight and their marriage gets in crisis. How will it end?

A country comedy classic does not follow the original book very faithfully, but adds new characters and omits the fact that in real life Betty and Bob divorced. Also middle-aged Claudette and Fred look old for their roles, in the book they were about twenty. As a stand-alone film it has good old fashioned situation comedy and the Kettle family steals the scenes. The style of the comedy brings in mind the comedies of Lucille Ball, where the heroine gets into awkward situations. The film inspired many rural TV-comedies and it was followed by series of nine films focusing on the adventures of Ma and Pa Kettle.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#2. Movie that is based on a book)

Rating: Good

Starring: Claudette Colbert, Fred MacMurray, Marjorie Main, Louise Allbritton, Percy Kilbride, Richard Long, Billy House, Ida Moore, Donald MacBride, Samuel S. Hinds, Esther Dale, Elisabeth Risdon, John Berkes, Victor Potel, Fuzzy Knight, Isabel O'Madigan, Dorothy Vaughan 
Director: Chester Erskine

Movie Review: Tombs of the Blind Dead

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Tombs of the Blind Dead (La noche del terror ciego) a.k.a The Night of the Blind Terror a.k.a Tombs of the Evil Dead a.k.a Crypt of the Blind Dead a.k.a Night of the Blind Dead a.k.a Tombs of the Blind Zombies a.k.a Mark of the Devil Part V: Night of the Blind Terror a.k.a Mark of the Devil, Part 4: Tombs of the Blind Dead a.k.a Revenge from Planet Ape 
Interfilme, Plata Films S.A., Spain, Portugal, 1972.
Tombs of the Blind Dead title
Betty (Lone Fleming) meets her old friend Virginia (María Elena Arpón). Virginia's friend Roger (César Burner) suggests a countryside weekend. Jealous Virginia does not seem to be particularly happy about the plan. At school the girls had a brief lesbian romance. The train trip brings out painful memories and Virginia decides to take a hike near a ruined Berzano village. 
María Elena Arpón, Lone Fleming and César Burner
Virginia, Betty and Roger
María Elena Arpón
Virginia explores the ruins
Little do they know that terrible fate awaits those who trespass the Tombs of the Blind Dead. Virginia makes herself cozy in the ruined monastery. At night the Blind Dead rise from their graves. Roger and Betty try to find Virginia but she is already murdered by the Blind Dead.
The Riding Dead
Blind Dead
You look a bit dusty
Betty's assistant Nina (Verónica Llimerá) and Professor Candal (Francisco Sanz) tell them the story of the Templar Knights. Centuries ago devil worshipping Templars sacrificed virgins to gain immortality. They were executed for their crimes and the crows ate their eyes. Because they are blind they navigate by sounds. The police do not believe the Professor but blame smugglers. Roger and Betty decide to contact the smugglers to find out the truth. 
Verónica Llimerá
Nina
The Templars when they were living
María Silva and José Thelman
Smugglers Maria (María Silva) and Pedro (José Thelman)
This is very atmospheric horror with creepy music and cool revenants in filthy cloaks. Filming locations in Pelayos de la Presa, monastery of El Cercon and monastery of Santa Maria la Real de Valdeiglesias near Madrid look great. For a horror film there is more than usual amount of telenovela drama. It is not perfect as it is slow as a zombie and seems to recycle some film material about the Blind Dead rising from the grave. There is also some illogical action by Betty and Roger, would they really trust the smugglers enough to spend a night with them in the ruins? Still the nightmarish atmosphere overcomes the weaknesses. The girls are pretty and María Elena Arpón looks a lot like one Finnish meteorologist.

Watching the Blind Dead ride their undead horses in slow motion makes one wonder if Peter Jackson took some inspiration for the depiction of Ringwraiths in "LotR." To exploit the "Planet of the Apes" hype this film was also released in drive-in theatres as "Revenge from Planet Ape" with narration explaining that after humans won the war against apes, some undead apes returned with a vengeance. 
Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#45. Horror movie with a poster that you think is cool) 

Rating: Very good

Starring: Lone Fleming, César Burner, María Elena Arpón (as Helen Harp), José Thelman (as Joseph Thelman), Rufino Inglés, Verónica Llimerá, Simón Arriaga, Francisco Sanz, Juan Cortés, Andrés Isbert, Antonio Orengo, José Camoiras, María Silva, Britt Nichols, Pedro Sempson 
Director: Amando de Ossorio

Movie Review: Jonah Hex

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Jonah Hex 
Warner Bros., Legendary Pictures, Mad Chance, Weed Road Pictures, DC Entertainment, USA, 2010. 
Jonah Hex title
Based on DC Comics character. 

Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) is a former Confederate soldier who betrayed his army after General Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) began to attack hospitals and schools. Turnbull murders Jonah's family and puts a brand on Jonah's face. Saved by Indians he gains the ability to temporarily resurrect and speak with the dead. Now he works as a bounty hunter but there is a bounty on his head too. 
Josh Brolin
Jonah Hex
John Malkovich
Quentin Turnbull
More Dakka the Western Way
To the annoyance of Jonah apparently Turnbull has been killed in a fire. When more than just regular bandits rob a train it becomes clear that he is still alive. Turnbull and Irish madman Burke (Michael Fassbender) are building a terrible superweapon. President Grant (Aidan Quinn) orders a manhunt after the feared terrorists. Only Jonah Hex can stop Turnbull and save US of A! 
Aidan Quinn
President Grant
Michael Fassbender
Burke
Jonah's friend is a prostitute named Lilah (Megan Fox). Also gun dealer Smith (Lance Reddick) supplies him with fancy guns. He has also a horse named Horse and he gets a dog follower. Meanwhile Turnbull builds a cannon that fires Dragon Balls. 
Megan Fox
Lilah
Lance Reddick
Smith
I must admit that I have never read the original comic. I guess it was not accurate as the fans hated the film. Weird west- movies seem to collect a lot of negative reviews as did also "Jonah Hex." Music by Mastodon works in some scenes and in some scenes not. Josh Brolin was good cynical western hero and there was potential to make him more interesting. The main faults were generic villains and routine plot. The story was hampered by script rewrites and reshoots, leaving many interesting ideas halfhearted. The action scenes with brutal potential are watered down to get the PG-13 rating. Maybe some director with crazier ideas could have saved the film. Still "Jonah Hex" had some fun moments, bad ass main character with supernatural skills and cool guns. It was also short so it never got boring.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#30. Movie based on comic)

Rating: Average

Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher Jr., Tom Wopat, Michael Shannon, Wes Bentley, Julia Jones, Luke James Fleischmann, Rio Hackford, David Jensen, Billy Blair, Sean Boyd, John McConnell, Jackson Townsend, T.J. Toups, Ned Coleman, John Wirt, Ty Holland, J.D. Evermore, Scott Staggers, Jimmy Hayward, Michael Arnona, Noel Murano, Preston Acuff, Jonathan Watts Bell, Vincent Riverside, Stephen S. Chen, Joseph Billingiere, Bill Martin Williams, Milos Milicevic, Eric Scott Woods, Maureen Brennan, Kennon Kepper, Grayhawk Perkins, Seth Gabel, Bruce Barnes, Andy Ryan, Darin Heames, Mitchell Amundsen, Matt Lasky, Aidan Quinn, Rance Howard, Antal Kalik, Michael Papajohn, Tait Fletcher, Paul Zies, Brian Elerding, Lance Reddick, Jake Radaker
Director: Jimmy Hayward

Movie Review: Red Scorpion

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Red Scorpion a.k.a Red Exterminator
Abramoff Production, Scorpion Film Production, South Africa, USA, Namibia, 1988.
Red Scorpion title
Lt. Nikolai Rachenko (Dolph Lundgren) is a tough Spetznaz officer. Soviet Union sends him to Mombaka to assassinate anti-communist rebel leader Ango Sundata (Ruben Nthodi). He must infiltrate the rebels and gain their trust. After wrecking a local bar he gets into a prison where Sundata's commander Kallunda (Al White) is held. Also foul-mouthed American reporter Dewey Ferguson (M. Emmet Walsh) is captured.
Dolph Lundgren
Lt. Nikolai Rachenko
Al White
Kallunda
M. Emmet Walsh
Dewey Ferguson
The trio escapes prison and heads for Kallunda's home village. However the Soviets got there first and there are only smoking ruins left. Nikolai begins to question the Soviet occupation. When he fails to kill Sundata, the rebels abandon him in the desert. Nikolai's Russian and Cuban comrades find him and torture him. Nikolai has to escape again. Bushman Gao (Regopstaan) finds him and heals his wounds. Now it is time to help the rebels to drive away the evil Commies!
Ruben Nthodi
Ango Sundata
Regopstaan
Gao
Col. Zayas (Carmen Argenziano)
"Red Scorpion" is a good old Cold War era Rambo-style action movie that has the twist of introducing a Russian hero who realizes that the Soviet system oppresses people. The African setting makes it feel a bit smarter than usual flicks of the genre. Also the addition of the Bushmans brings some emotional depth to the story with couple of touching scenes. This is one of Dolph's best action movies. Regopstaan as Gao the Bushman is fun. Brion James drops in as a cruel prison warden. Considering the low budget the action looks good and does not need to be outshined by the bigger budget Hollywood actioners. Goremaster Tom Savini made some special effects.
Nikolai in action
Something funny happens to Nikolai's bayonet:

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#28. Movie that has a colour in its name)

Rating: Good

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, M. Emmet Walsh, Al White, T.P. McKenna, Carmen Argenziano, Alex Colon, Brion James, Ruben Nthodi, Vuzi Dibukwana, James Mthoba, Dinky Motsemme, Ernest Ndlovu, Thapelo Mofokeng, Mxolisi Hulana, Nicky Rebelo, Drummond Marais, Charles Comyn, Tullio Moneta, Jurgen Hellberg, Graham Clarke, Irene Stephano, Nomsa Nene, Elijah Dhlamini, Patrick Shai, Peter Se-Puma, Tu Nokwe, Salathial Maake, Regopstaan, Anthony Fridjhon, Greg Latter, Rob Smith, Neo Matsunyane, Joe Mafela, Isaac Mavimbela, David Vlok
Director: Joseph Zito

Movie Review: Age of Tomorrow

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Age of Tomorrow a.k.a World of Tomorrow a.k.a Alien Extinction a.k.a War of the World
The Asylum, 2014.
Age of Tomorrow title
The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge requires watching a film that I have considered watching already for a long time. I'll just pick something from the box.

Meteor shower causes damage that gets General Magowan (Robert Picardo) worried. Dr. Gordon (Kelly Hu) tells that giant asteroid is about to hit Earth. Captain James Wheeler (Anthony Marks),  Dr. Gordon and their team must jump into spaceship and blow up the asteroid before it causes a huge hole on the surface of Earth. 
Robert Picardo
General Magowan
Anthony Marks and Laura Alexandra Ramos
Captain James Wheeler and Cabrera (Laura Alexandra Ramos)
Kelly Hu
Dr. Gordon
The astronauts with minimal space training land on the asteroid and start drilling with their futuristic drills. However that's no moon, it's a space station! The astronauts are teleported to distant planet of hostile aliens. Flying robot spheres attack Earth. On Earth Fireman Chris (Lane Townsend) and Major Blake (Nick Stellate) are trying to save Chris' daughter Lindsay (Taylor Coliee). Meanwhile the aliens apparently kill all humans and abduct some for obscure torture purposes. 
Lane Townsend and Morgan West
Fireman Chris and Sully (Morgan West)
Taylor Coliee
Lindsay
Nick Stellate
Major Blake
The name makes it mockbuster of "Edge of Tomorrow" but the story makes it "Armageddon" meets "Prometheus" meets "Predators" meets whatever alien invasion movie. The DVD back cover declares: 
The exploitation of space from the Earth's population has consumed very hard that led to disastrous consequences. This has angered the aliens away from an extraterrestrial civilization which is now determined to give back once and for all. Humanity is now facing a moment of truth and preparing for what may be the last battle on planet earth. 
Only the final sentence is true. Did someone who wrote the blurb actually watch the movie at all? And what's with the exploding pyramid on the DVD cover, it was nowhere to be seen?
Alien planet
Alien
The space effects and sceneries look nice and some special effects could be from scifi TV-series. The effects of Asylum are getting better thanks to Joseph Lawson. Still the cheap sets reveal the limited budget. Also the threat of alien attack is difficult to grasp as the aliens seem to attack only one city block. The common problems of the Asylym films are present. Generic and expendable characters do not make the story interesting. Again the streets look very vacant and there are only handful of heroes to save the world. Also there is a lot of driving around and aimless wandering. The subplot of the astronauts felt more interesting than the fireman plot. On the other hand the fireman plot offered more (unintentional?) comedy. The aliens are invulnerable to other weapons than fire axe. This is not the Asylym's worst, it is not so bad it would be good but it is not good either. With better script and more focused approach it could have been fun invasion flick. The sequel-bait ending makes you want to kick someone.
Yay!
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!
Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#15. Movie you have considered watching already for a long time) 

Rating: Bad 

Starring: Kelly Hu, Anthony Marks, Robert Picardo, Lane Townsend, Morgan West, Mitchell Shawn (as Mitchell Carpenter), Nick Stellate, Nicholas Alexander, Sarah Karijan, Joseph Price, Matt Mercer, Laura Alexandra Ramos, Jennifer Marshall, Taylor Coliee, Patrick Lazzara, Shamar Sanders, Lauren Arps, Cynthia Dallas, Michael Hampton, Michael Lanford, Kye Kinder, Sarah Karjian, Matthew Langford 
Director: James Kondelik

Movie Review: Love Bavarian Style (Geh, zieh dein Dirndl aus)

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Geh, zieh dein Dirndl aus a.k.a Black Leather Pants a.k.a Love Bavarian Style a.k.a Make Them Yodel, Baby a.k.a Pannaanpa jodlaten (Finnish title)
Constantin Film, Lisa-Film, West Germany, 1973.
Geh, zieh dein Dirndl aus
Toni (Jürgen Schilling) is the super stud of the small Alpine village. New mistress of the farm Gisela (Elisabeth Volkmann) has a very strict morale. Farmgirl Zenzi (Marie Ekorre) walks around without pants and therefore the farm has always the best hired men. Boss of the farmhands Hias (Alexander Grill) must keep the debauchery on the farm hidden from Gisela. Florian (Willy Harlander) wants to buy the farm back so he and his farmer friends (Willy Schultes and Max Grießer) must first get rid of Zensi to disperse the farmhands. They need an Italian Casanova to seduce her.
Alexander Grill and Elisabeth Volkmann
Hias and Gisela
Marie Ekorre and Jürgen Schilling
Zenzi and Toni
Willy Harlander and Dorothea Rau
Florian and barmaid Resi (Dorothea Rau)
Toni churns butter with Zenzi using his mighty plunger (it is a dairy farm after all). Toni's other girlfriend Rosl (Elisabeth Felchner) tries to win Toni back. Another ladies' man stuttering farmhand Sepp (Walter Klinger) tries to seduce Rosl but in the dark ends up with with her mother (Doris Delaas).
Elisabeth Volkmann, Jürgen Schilling and Walter Klinger
Gisella with Toni and Sepp
Elisabeth Felchner and Walter Klinger
Rosl and Sepp
Doris Delaas
Rosl's mother
Italian gold digger Vittorio Parmesano (Rinaldo Talamonti) pretends to be gay so he can chaperone Count Traverso's (Ulrich Beiger) daughters Gina (Maja Hoppe) and the other daughter in Germany. The plan backfires as his chauffeur Mario (Werner Röglin) falls in love with him. Vittorio does his best to evade Mario. Florian tries to get Vittorio to seduce Zenzi.
Rinaldo Talamonti
Vittorio Parmesano
Werner Röglin
Mario
Giselle's scientist brother Heino (Michael Hinz) arrives to the farm with his fiancee Lore (Juliane Rom). Nerdy Heino is clueless about women and even more clueless with driving tractor. After a series of amusing events everyone gets some.
Michael Hinz and Juliane Rom
Heino and Lore
Marie Ekorre
Zenzi's Lederhosen
Gisela's hay fashion
This is one of the most famous Lederhosen- sex comedies and enjoys cult reputation. The humour is lowbrow and the tone stays carefree whole time. Mostly the plot is about softcore sex in funny situations. The jokes are stupid enough to raise some laughs. There is also a fair share of Benny Hill- chases, Oktoberfest partying and polka. It can not be said well filmed or a good film but it has nostalgic Euro-trash feel with certain innocence of nudie comedies before more hardcore films took over the genre.
Polka party!
What the priest saw?
This movie was also notable as it caused Finnish director Markku Pölönen (Finnish link) to cancel his plans of clerical career and pursue career as film director.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#42. Movie you feel a bit ashamed to watch)

Rating: Average

Starring: Elisabeth Volkmann, Alexander Grill, Marie Ekorre, Rinaldo Talamonti, Raoul Retzer, Dorothea Rau, Maja Hoppe, Elisabeth Felchner, Jürgen Schilling, Juliane Rom-Sock, Walter Klinger, Ulrich Beiger, Werner Röglin, Erich Kleiber, Doris Delaas, Anne Graf, Max Grießer, Willy Harlander, Michael Hinz, Ruth Küllenberg, Thomas Reiner, Willy Schultes
Director: Sigi Rothemund (as Siggi Götz)

Movie Review: Twilight of a Woman's Soul (Sumerki zhenskoi dushi)

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Twilight of a Woman's Soul (Sumerki zhenskoi dushi)
"Star" Film Factory (A. Khanzhonkov and Pathé Frères). Russia, 1913. 
Twilight of a Woman's Soul
Aristocrat lady Vera Dubovskaja (Nina Chernova) feels lonely. His mother the Countess asks her to accompany her when she visits the poor. Vera Decides to devote her life to helping the poor. Apprentice Maxim (V. Demert) becomes obsessed with Vera. He exploits the benefactor and rapes her. Vera stabs Maxim to death. 
Nina Chernova
Vera Dubovskaja
V. Demert
Maxim
Vera visits the poor
After returning home and recovering Vera is introduced to Prince Dolskij (A. Ugrjumov). Later the Prince proposes Vera, but the guilty conscience haunts her. The Prince promises to love her despite what ever she has done. After the wedding Vera tells everything and the Prince gets furious. Vera leaves. Later Prince regrets and hires a private detective to find Vera but she has gone abroad. Vere becomes an independent actor and the Prince loses his will to live.
A. Ugrjumov
Prince Dolskij
The past haunts Vera
The Prince gets furious
The works of Evgenii (or Yevgeni) Bauer were hidden in the Russian archives until the last days of Soviet regime. He had a brief but productive career before his premature death caused by health complications. In 1913-1917 he made 80 movies of which little over 20 survived. His style was influential to later Russian cinema and nowadays he is respected as a pioneer filmmaker.

Many of his films were tragic romances. "Twilight of a Woman's Soul" is his earliest surviving film. The use of lighting is innovative and the psychological drama is effective. The sets are well decorated with sumptuous aristocrat apartments and mirthless worker housings. Some double exposure tricks are used in dream scene. The story is quite straightforward (whole film is only 49 minutes) but the actors convey the emotions effectively.

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#18. Movie that is made over 100 years ago)

Rating: Good

Starring: Nina Chernova, A. Ugrjumov, V. Demert, Vitali Brianski
Director: Evgenii Bauer

Movie Review: Tabu: A Story of the South Seas

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Tabu: A Story of the South Seas
Murnau-Flaherty Productions, USA, 1931. 
Tabu: A Story of the South Seas
It the first chapter "Paradise" Polynesian way of life is depicted. Boys are fishing with spears. The Boy (Matahi) sees bathing beauties and joins the fun. The boy playfully teases Reri (Anne Chevalier). The other girls laugh at her and a catfight ensues. 
Matahi
Jules
The Captain
Meanwhile the chief calls the natives together. A ship is coming. On the ship is emissary Hitu bringing a message from message from the chief of Fanuma. Sacred Virgin has died and Fanuma needs a new one. Reri is selected as the new one. No man can touch her. Reri is Tabu! The Boy, Matahi will not allow that to happen. He kidnaps Reri. If they are found Matahi will be killed and Reri sacrified to gods. 
Reri
Hitu
Bill Bambridge
The Policeman
Second chapter: "Paradise Lost." The doomed lovers escape to white man's island. The ship comes to find them. The Policeman (Bill Bambridge) gets orders to arrest them. Matahi buys their freedom with a pearl. But they can not escape the watchful eye of Hitu! 
Reri and Matahi
Reri and Matahi
This is a silent classic from the 1930s. It was co-production of F.W. Murnau and Robert J. Flaherty (Nanook of the North) and it was also Murnau's last film. Flaherty and Murnay had some artistic differences as Flaherty would have wanted to make the film a documentary. Finally Murnau directed the film alone. Murnau died in a car crash before he could see the film in premiere.

The film was filmed in Bora Bora, French Polynesia and it used local actors. The local people and real locations  give it a realistic level although the actors were strictly instructed how to pose in dramatic scenes. The romantic tale has exciting turns with pearl diving, and even an appearance of a man-eating shark. The Oscar-winning cinematography by Floyd Crosby looks beautiful. Although it was censored in 1930s the modern DVDs "contain natural nudity."

Part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#46. Movie about indigenous peoples or their culture)

Rating: Very good

Starring: Matahi, Anne Chevalier (as Reri), Hitu, Bill Bambridge (as Jean), Jules, Kong Ah 
Director: F.W. Murnau

Movie Review: 13 Assassins (2010) (Jûsan-nin no shikaku)

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13 Assassins (2010) (Jûsan-nin no shikaku) a.k.a Thirteen Assassins 
Sedic International, Recorded Picture Company,  Hanway Films, Asahi Broadcasting Corporation, Asahi Shimbun, Dentsu, Higashinippon Broadcasting Co., Hiroshima Home TV, Hokkaido Television Broadcasting Co., Kyushu Asahi Broadcasting Co., Nagoya Broadcasting Network, Shizuoka Asahi Television Co., Shogakukan, TV Asahi, Toho Company, Tsutaya Group, Yahoo Japan, Recorded Picture Company, Hanway Films, 2010, Japan, UK. 
13 Assassins title
The last task of the 2016 Movie Watching Challenge was to watch a film recommended by staff of a video rental store. Filmtown Piispanristi recommended me the samurai-film by Takashi Miike. Funny thing is that I almost chose this one for the challenge #34: Movie that has a number in the title. However I decided I would save it for later possible samurai-film marathon. What I also learned in the video store was that the original Japanese version is 16 minutes longer than the international version. From the original Japanese film some scenes giving more depth to some characters were cut likewise some comical scenes. The film is a remake of Eiichi Kudo’s 1963 film.

In 1844 sadistic lord Naritsugu (Gorô Inagaki) of Akashi clan is causing trouble for Japan. Naritsugu is half-brother of Shogun and his heir, and opposing him means death. The eldest of the Akashi-clan, Zushu Mamiya (Seiyô Uchino) commits harakiri to oppose Naritsugu. As Naritsugu on the throne would make Caligula's Rome look like a kindergarten, Minister Toshitsura Doi (Mikijirô Hira) wants samurai Shinzaemon Shimada (Kôji Yakusho) to kill him. As Doi can not oppose Shogun directly the mission must be kept top secret. 
Gorô Inagaki
Naritsugu
Kôji Yakusho
Shinzaemon Shimada
The long period of peace has dulled the fighting skills of the samurai. Shinzaemon manages to raise a group of 12 samurai who are mostly inexperienced in battle, including his gambling nephew Shinrokuro (Takayuki Yamada). The mission gives them a chance to die doing something honourable. 
Takayuki Yamada
Shinrokuro
Hanbei Kito (Masachika Ichimura) disapproves Naritsugu but as a samurai is has sworn to protect him. Hanbei knows about the assassination plot and soon the roads are filled with enemies.  Takes a route through the forest, the group finds 13th warrior Kiga Koyata (Yûsuke Iseya). He is actually a forest spirit but it is not made very clear in the shorter cut.. The plan is compromised and the 13 Assassins have to face the entire Akashi clan, army with hundreds of men. But a wide selection of traps evens the odds.
Masachika Ichimura
Hanbei Kito
Yûsuke Iseya
Kiga Koyata
Takashi Miike is best known for his extreme films such as "Audition" and "Ichi the Killer", but has directed also films for children and mainstream films based on  video games ("Ace Attorney") and superheroes such as "Yatterman." As to 2016 Miike has directed 99 movies of various genres. "13 Assassins" goes to a more mainstream samurai territory. The first part shows the reasons why Naritsugu must be killed and the samurai planning the ambush. The final battle is bloody but considering Miike's history the gore is kept quite restrained. Still it has disturbing scenes and a scene that is trademark Miike, a scene demonstrating Naritsugu's sadistic tendencies with an amputated girl.
Ambushing
Battling the Akashi clan
This has high-budget action with good cinematography with nice sceneries. Well built and long final battle makes it one of the best battle scenes in samurai films. The ending shows the futility of samurai code of obedience when the leaders are corrupt and the beginning the twilight of the Tokugawa-shogunate. A mixed bunch of samurai and the battle in village and reminds "Seven Samurai." and why not also Kiga, who is similar to Kikuchiyo. Miike shows his skills combining drama about loyalty and personal ethics with high-caliber action making it one of the best samurai films of the 2010s.

The Finnish DVD is lacking the deleted scenes as extras and at least my copy had couple of timing problems with subtitles. 

Final part of The 2016 Movie Watching Challenge (#50. Movie that is recommended by staff of video rental store or streaming service)

Rating: Very good

Starring: Kôji Yakusho, Takayuki Yamada, Yûsuke Iseya, Ikki Sawamura, Arata Furuta, Sôsuke Takaoka, Seiji Rokkaku, Kazuki Namioka, Kôen Kondô, Yûma Ishigaki, Masataka Kubota, Tsuyoshi Ihara, Hiroki Matsukata, Kazue Fukiishi, Mitsuki Tanimura, Takumi Saitô, Shin'nosuke Abe, Shôzô Uesugi, Ayumu Saitô, Hajime Inoue, Atsushi Haruta, Yûya Takagawa, Hiroshi Tatsumi, Akemi Sakurai, Sakurako Moteki, Megumi Kagurazaka, Seiyô Uchino, Ken Mitsuishi, Ittoku Kishibe, Mikijirô Hira, Kôshirô Matsumoto, Gorô Inagaki, Masachika Ichimura, Seizô Fukumoto, Nizaemon Kataoka
Director: Takashi Miike

Movie Review: The Terminators

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The Terminators
The Asylum, USA, 2009.
The Terminators title
A space station is overrun by hacked TR-cyborgs (Terminators). Another shipment of TR4-units (muscular Paul Logan) are coming to Earth. A task force tries to enter the space station to close the control computer TR5 but then they spend the rest of the film probably sitting in the space station closet. One of the space commandos is named Hicks by the way.
Paul Logan
TR4
From the futuristic space war we proceed to the problems of regular people who are unaware of the threat. Chuck (Clint Browning) and Tiffany (Lucinda Rogers) want to get married but Chuck is still married to Chloe (Lauren Walsh). Charlie's (The Asylum regular Dean Kreyling) daughter Lucy is going to visit L.A. and he asks museum recommendations from Sheriff Reed (A Martinez). Suddenly they find themselves under attack and L.A. explodes not very spectacularly. TR4 destroys Charlie's car with a pole. Poor Charlie. Then TR4s start killing everyone they see. 
Dean Kreyling and A Martinez
Charlie and Sheriff Reed
The Terminators
There goes Charlie.
The Sheriff and a group of survivors hide in an old factory. There is cigar-chomping Sam (Gary Miller-Youst), gun collector Pallas (Sara Tomko), nervous Bronson (Dustin Harnish), black girl Laura (Krystle Connor) and mother (Dana Tomasko?) who dies first. After the escape the survivors meet Kurt (Jeremy London) who knows how to stop the cyborgs. The plan involves stealing a spaceship and flying to space station to flip the on/off switch (really). 
Gary Miller-Youst
Sam
Krystle Connor
Laura (left)
Sara Tomko
Pallas
Blatantly ripping off the Terminator-franchise, and adding some space combat a la "Battlestar Galactica" it is still surprisingly fun. It is not a good dilm in traditional sense but compared to usual Asylum products it is on the better side and the pace of the movie is right. Paul Logan looks as credible as Terminators and the effects seem to be used more creatively than in usual Asylums.
Paul Logan
It even has a "Blade Runner" moment when one of the characters is revealed to be a cyborg. Then the character begins to talk like a robot. Then there are also plenty of random scenes, funny dialogue and non-purposeful explosions. For the fans of campy 80s and 90s cyborg films it should be moderately fun.
Lauren Walsh
Chloe
Lucinda Rogers
Tiffany
Dustin Harnish
Bronson
Jeremy London
Kurt

The cover picture lies. There is only one of those exoskeleton cyborgs.

Rating: Good (as a cheap cyborg-film) /Bad (as a regular film)

Starring: Jeremy London, A Martinez, Paul Logan, Lauren Walsh, Sara Tomko, Dustin Harnish, Clint Browning, Lucinda Rogers, Mark Hengst, Gary Miller-Youst, Joel Hebner, Naómi Hurter, Russell Reynolds, Stephen Blackehart, Jason S. Gray, Dean Kreyling, Krystle Connor, Michael C. Parisi, Jason Yorrick, Justin Spanko, Geoff Stirling Jr., Dana Tomasko, Monique La Barr, Jay Plemons, Jay Beyers, Cole S. McKay, Elvis Naumovski, Edmond Choi, Conor Gomez, Debra Harrison-Lowe, Sex Henderson
Director: Xavier S. Puslowski

Movie Review: Cyber Tracker

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Cyber Tracker a.k.a CyberTracker a.k.a Cyber Warrior 
PM Entertainment Group, USA, 1994. 
Cyber Tracker title
In the future (2014) crime is rampant. Cyborg police units or Cyber Trackers (Jim Maniaci) have the powers to be the jury, judge and executioner. However they are protested as they often kill innocents. Eric Phillips (kickboxing world champion Don 'The Dragon' Wilson) is a bodyguard working for Cybercore corporation. A group of human right activists try to assassinate Senator Dilly (John Aprea who has appeared in many TV shows such as "Falcon Crest") who is proponent of robot enforcers. 
Jim Maniaci
Cyber Tracker
John Aprea
Senator Dilly
Don 'The Dragon' Wilson
Eric
Eric prevents the attempt but steps on the feet of his superior Ross (Richard Norton, who has appeared in many Hong Kong martial arts films and also in "Mad Max: Fury Road"). Eric chills out by drinking with his best buddy, home computer system Agnes 4000. It is a handy computer and can even simulate being drunk. Eric's wife Kate (Christina Naify) has divorced him because Eric has too many scars. 
Richard Norton
Ross
Christina Naify
Kate
The senator and Ross test Eric's loyalty by taking his along to murder cyborg scientist Stephanie (Dana Sparks who is better known for her TV roles such as in "JAG" or "Falcon Crest") who is involved in the resistance. Eric tries to stop the murder and gets framed for it. As he is a martial artists he kicks his way out from the police station. Corrupt Police Chief Olson (Abby Dalton, also known for "Falcon Crest"!) sends Cyber Tracker after him. Eric damages and finally destroys him.
Dana Sparks
Stephanie
Abby Dalton
Chief Olson
Jim Maniaci
Damaged Cyber Tracker
Eric meets the rebels and reporter Connie (Stacie Foster) who is their boss. Connie recruits Eric to join the resistance as what else could he do. The notable rebels are:

-Gil (Edward Blanchard) is a hacker who speaks some jargon and finally says that Cyber Trackers are perfect.
-Becca (Duchess Dale) is mother of a little girl.
-Jared (Steve Burton) has a chip on his shoulder as Eric killed his brother.
-Ally (Lisa Larosa) is young student and Jared's girlfriend.
-Marcus (David Barnathan) tries to keep Jared cool.
Duchess Dale, Steve Burton, Lisa Larosa, David Barnathan
Becca, Jared, Ally and Marcus
Edward Blanchard
Gil and his supercomputers
Stacie Foster
Connie
The rebels plan to attack Cybercore's Aquarius Lab and expose the conspiracy. Chairman Rounds (Joseph Ruskin) wants to be a god and plans to replace humans with cyborgs. However the rebels' plot goes awry when Cyber Tracker pays them a surprise visit.
Joseph Ruskin
Chairman Rounds
Kickboxing!
"Cyber Tracker" has surprisingly many actors from "Falcon Crest." The film follows in the wake of "Robocop" and "Terminator" with some rebel fighter action. Pepin and Merhi production has some good cheapo action scenes and lots of explosions. And more explosions. And even more explosions. However the story loses some of its momentum after the first action scenes as the indestructible Cyber Trackers are not so indestructible after all. Don The Dragon has good martial arts scenes and Jim Maniaci is convincingly menacing cyborg.
More explosions!
Some hilarity comes from the bad CGI-effect when Cyber Tracker takes gun from inside his leg. Microphone makes guest appearance at 0:18:18. Kudos for combining cheap synthesizer music with choral singing (sounds quite awesome actually). Followed by a sequel!

IMDB trivia: "Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, despite the name, is in actual fact not a dragon."

Rating: Good (as a cheap cyborg-film) / Bad (as a regular film)

Starring: Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, Richard Norton, Stacie Foster, Joseph Ruskin, John Aprea, Abby Dalton, Steve Burton, David Barnathan, Edward Blanchard, Lisa Larosa, Christina Zilber (as Christina Naify), Duchess Dale, G. William Keith, Peter Kluge, Dana Sparks, Kenneth Benjamin, Kevin Carr, Joel Weiss, Matthew David Smith, Tony Lani, Judy Lea Lani, Art Camacho, Jim Maniaci, Ryal Haakenson, Jay Lasoff, Craig Richards, Tim Scanlon
Director: Richard Pepin

Movie Review: Cyber Tracker 2

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Cyber Tracker 2 a.k.a CyberTracker 2
PM Entertainment Group, USA, 1995.
CyberTracker 2 title
The story continues some time after the first "Cyber Tracker." Eric (Don 'The Dragon' Wilson) works now as undercover cop, arresting gun traffickers. When the shooting starts he gets backup help from new and improved Cyber Tracker #9 (Jim Maniaci) that looks like "Robocop." Then Eric takes kickboxing match against laughing maniac named Pruitt (Nils Allen Stewart Sr.). 
Stacie Foster and Don 'The Dragon' Wilson
Connie & Eric
Jim Maniaci
Cyber Tracker #9
Nils Allen Stewart
Pruitt
Security computer Agnes 5000 (Peggy McIntaggart) or is it 3000 (both numbers can be seen in different occasions)  welcomes Eric home. Eric married reporter Connie (Stacie Foster) but she is a busy career woman. Connie is on the trails of stolen cyber technology. Jared (Steve Burton) is her working partner. Weird, I thought Jared died in the prequel. Oh Well, somehow he survived the explosion. Eric works also as a part-time martial arts instructor, young student Amanda (Eboni Adams) trains using virtual reality system (geez the computer graphics of the 1995 were terrible). 
Peggy McIntaggart
Agnes
Steve Burton
Jared
VR-Ninja!
Nice day takes a tragic turn when Connie murders Governor Quincy (Dave Aranda-Richards). New governor Rhodes (Stephen Rowe) orders the police to send basic model Cyber Tracker (Jim Maniaci) after her. So basically nothing that the rebels fought against in the first part has changed. However the real murderer is a cyborg and real Connie is held hostage. She escapes only to be almost executed by Cyber Tracker.
Tony Burton
Swain
Stephen Rowe and Kathryn Atwood
Rhodes and Blair (Kathryn Atwood)
John Kassir
Tripwire
Behind the murder are Paris Morgan (Anthony De Longis), mysterious Miss Kessel (Athena Massey) and rogue scientist Ruben (Christopher Boyer) who are creating cyborg assassins who can look like anyone. Explosive expert Tripwire, (John Kassir) old friend of Jared and Connie gives Eric and his friends a shelter in an old church. Police chief Swain (Tony Burton) hacks into Morgan's computer and finds something devious. The bad guys are building a cyborg more powerful than Cyber Tracker: Super Tracker (Peter Kent)!
Anthony De Longis and Christopher Boyer
Paris Morgan and Ruben
Athena Massey
Kessel
Unfinished cyborg
Cyber Tracker 2" has even more explosive action scenes and more wacky humour than in the prequel. Most of the budget probably went to exploding cars. However some money is saved by recycling some footage from the prequel. There is cool cyborg vs cyborg action and car stunts using real vehicles and not some crappy CGI. Delightfully random moments are present throughout the film, what's with Tripwire's C4 potato heads? At one point Don 'The Dragon' Wilson even battles against himself! The middle part of the story with police station massacre and car chases looks a lot like "Terminator" (the chases seem even to be filmed in the same parts of L.A.) and the ending has "Terminator 2" moment. So it is quite fun if you remember to turn your brain off.
Standard equipment with Hummer
Older model Cyber Tracker

Microphone makes guest appearance at 1:19:12.

Rating: Good (as a cheap cyborg-film)

Starring: Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, Stacie Foster, Tony Burton, Jim Maniaci, Anthony De Longis, John Kassir, Stephen Rowe, Steve Burton, Stephen Quadros, Christopher Boyer, Nils Allen Stewart, Peggy McIntaggart, Kathryn Atwood, Athena Massey, Peter Kent, Sid Sham, Vincent DePalma, Frank Uzzolino, Dave Aranda-Richards, Christopher Kriesa, Chucky 'Lee' Currie, Fred Holliday, Billy Ray Orme, Eboni Adams, Jefferson Wagner, Caroline Kim, Helene M. White, Anthony Backman 
Director: Richard Pepin
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